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Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240708
05/02/06 04:07 PM
05/02/06 04:07 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,462
The woods of NW GA
Meg_Homeschooling Offline
Chipmunk
Meg_Homeschooling  Offline
Chipmunk

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,462
The woods of NW GA
Hey, i think those of us with kids also dont enjoy being around people who can't control their kids. I've flat out left places when my kids were acting up and they really needed to be out of there, regardless of how badly I wanted to be there.

Anyhow, I'm a prolific breeder (6th on the way, 5th living) and I get a *lot* of nasty stares when we go on a plane or into a restaurant, but usually my kids are pretty well behaved. By this point in time I'm quite efficient at knowing what to bring to keep them occupied.

I try to stay away fromthe CF forums too, I posted there once or twice by accident looking at active topics and not paying attention to the forum.

I dont think calling names is ever appropriate though. if there is an issue, address it when it happens, don't rationalize everyone.

Meg


Meg
The World is Our Classroom!
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Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240709
05/02/06 04:13 PM
05/02/06 04:13 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,462
The woods of NW GA
Meg_Homeschooling Offline
Chipmunk
Meg_Homeschooling  Offline
Chipmunk

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,462
The woods of NW GA
>And please don't say that we have no idea how hard it is to >raise children. Yes, we do.

No, you don't. You see someone doing it, you experienced being raised. You see your brother, sister, best friend, aunt, whatever, raising kids. Maybe you even "raised" a little brother or sister. However, until you push one out, have it cut out or legally adopt one, you *don't* know. You see, but you aren't doing.

I applaud you for the guts to stick to your decision, I really do, but in all fairness, you don't know. You can't know because you haven't done it yourself. That's not bad or wrong, it's just fact, you don't know. Just like I don't remember what it's like to be childfree, because it's been that many years and I started young. I wouldn't pretend to know what it's like or claim I did.

Meg


Meg
The World is Our Classroom!
Homeschooling

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Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240710
05/02/06 04:24 PM
05/02/06 04:24 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,313
Verulamium, England
Alexandra Offline
Zebra
Alexandra  Offline
Zebra

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,313
Verulamium, England
I posted the comment below on the "This is the most populare forum at bella" (sic) because I felt it needed saying... With your indulgence, I will add it here too...

I have to say, from the point of view of a mother who has become estranged and separated from her own two daughters (so I have a foot in both camps, if you like!!) whilst I agree that those who have children have attempted to fiercely defend their parenthood status, there ahave been some who in their efforts to celebrate their choice of being child-free, have used comments or phrases which have put parents on the defensive.... Many happy parents have interpreted the term "breeders" as being all-encompassing..I for one understand that it is not: It is designed to label and to categorise those who have borne children irresponsibly and for financial gain or supplementary support... whose children are simply a means to an end... Prominent though they may be, however, I still think they are in general, in the minority... Most people who become parents love their children, and only want to do the best for them.

It may therefore be useful to reserve derogatory terms for those who fit the bill... and only when they appear on forum to declare their status and attempt to justify their actions....

If we expect politeness and respect for our decisions, it stands to reason that we must show the same for those with whom we 'speak'....









Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240711
05/02/06 04:24 PM
05/02/06 04:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 67
shyrphoebe Offline
Amoeba
shyrphoebe  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 67
Quote:
I take my children to the theatre, to symphonies, to museums, to fine restaurants, etc. Children need this exposure in order to learn to value these experiences and to learn what is appropriate behavior (yes, you can learn manners at home--but the lessons stick better with practice). I, as do most of my parenting friends, choose early times, matinees and performances that are specifically scheduled for families--out of concern for our own children.


its good that you bring your kids to these places. exposure certainly helps in teaching children on how to behave in public. i love kids and have a long patience for them but we can't blame other people who don't and easily get irritated with children...

i salute those parents who were able to raise their children with proper manners without forgoing the fun that childhood brings them. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240712
05/02/06 04:45 PM
05/02/06 04:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,462
The woods of NW GA
Meg_Homeschooling Offline
Chipmunk
Meg_Homeschooling  Offline
Chipmunk

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,462
The woods of NW GA
i see breeders as people who have babies. I buy breeder fish, for example. I had a pair of breeder snakes. I am a breeder as I have children, lots of them, thus prolific breeder.

I dont really care what others think breeder means, all it means is the ability to have offspring.

I'm not into the CF lingo and don't care to be, it's not a place I belong or would try to infiltrate. I just go about my happy life the way it is <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

meg


Meg
The World is Our Classroom!
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Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Heard??? #240713
05/02/06 08:15 PM
05/02/06 08:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 335
Canada
M
MomsPaula Offline
Shark
MomsPaula  Offline
Shark
M

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 335
Canada
Hi, This is my first time ever to participate in a forum discussion. I have to say you are all great, I�m loving it. You are also raising a lot of interesting points. All of which are reasonable and fair. My two cents worth is this:
Yes it would be nice to sit on a plane or in a restaurant or in my own living room for that matter and have peace. But it rarely happens. I understand the noise and confusion is more difficult for a hands off bystander. And I realize unless you are a mom you rarely encounter �enforced� unselfish living.
Yet, unless you are to become the last woman standing, the world will continue to be populated and if you truly can�t tolerate the ineptness of some families or bare watching a situation that is out of your control, loudly play out, you may need to look at other options for your social outings and shell out the bucks for first class.
Venting will not bring the common-sense-police movement alive. The way the world is heading, unless we do some truly inspired maneuvers, (possibly as a movement) a child�s ability to display self-control is likely to become a less observed phenomenon. A mother can not teach what she hasn�t examined or learned. Self-control, self-discipline, biggie size fries, and 150$ basketball shoes are at opposite ends of the spectrum. So are aggressive video games and spiritual compassion.
All I guess I am trying to say is that blaming will not solve this problem. It is bigger than all of us. And although mothers should do their part to raise respectful children, that is not a contractual stipulation upon conception. And there are no mental illness tests necessary. The finer point is... what �self respecting� mother wouldn�t try.

Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Heard??? #240714
05/02/06 09:03 PM
05/02/06 09:03 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
C
censored Offline
Chipmunk
censored  Offline
Chipmunk
C

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Quote:
Hi, we can't decide or predetermine the intelligence level or present coping ability of parents. Perfectly capable parents lose out to stress, and often. We have also "banished" segregation. I think the best we can hope for is enlightenment along the way. For those around us and most importantly ourselves. We do not have separate worlds. We share one.


If parents dont have a resonable intelligence level or coping abilities sorry to say but they have no buisness having children but they do anyway...So sad <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I feel for the children of such lousy parents.

Nobody has mentioned segragation - I ceartinally would never condone that...Where was the word segregation ever used? Makes us chilfreers sound bad dosent it? Was that you intent?

Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Heard??? #240715
05/02/06 09:11 PM
05/02/06 09:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
C
censored Offline
Chipmunk
censored  Offline
Chipmunk
C

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
I am sorry you have a child with special needs...I feel for you and your child and hope he gets the help he needs.YOui sound like a decent parent to me and none of what I said about breeders would EVER apply to a peson such as yourself.You have done the best you can and under the circumstances you are doing well.

As for patience with children in a public setting.When I see kids acting up with there friends I am very tolerant because there is no parent there to dicipline them and mby nature kids will act up like that when no adult in charge is present.

What I do have a problem with however is when they start acting up in a pubic setting and their " parents" ( I use that term loosley) see them and do not dicipline them.That I do not have any patience for...Some parents these days really have no idea..they are clueless...Society is breaking down and I believe a major contributing factor is in the way people are raising there children.

People have no values anymore because "parents" cannot be bothered to instill them.

Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240716
05/02/06 09:13 PM
05/02/06 09:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
C
censored Offline
Chipmunk
censored  Offline
Chipmunk
C

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Well said! You go girl! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Re: Ranting: Children Should be Seen and Not Hear #240717
05/02/06 09:19 PM
05/02/06 09:19 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
C
censored Offline
Chipmunk
censored  Offline
Chipmunk
C

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Yes I know I spelt popular wrong in the subject heading Alexandra but you cannot edit it and when I saw it it was to late.Gee makes me look silley(sic) dosent it??? <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

My response to this post is in the "married without kids" forum.

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