I've got an even better idea: get rid of your phone, then no more bills! Read that again, it's brilliant!
I don't have one, nobody calls me anyway, well they would if I had one I'm really popular especially with the
girls*. So if I had one then it'd be ringing all the time with offers of dinner parties and gala showbiz events. Get rid of your phone then you'll have more time to do other stuff and chat on here! Erm, no you wouldn't, you need to be on a phoneline don't you. Damn, pretend I didn't write this (who wrote that - not me).
* It's true, ask anyone (except Bob Pench the fool)