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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2
OP Offline
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2
I noticed there has not been too recent activity but I hoped that someone who could relate to my recent miscarriages could help me adjust a little.
My husband and I decided to try last fall and got pregnant fairly quickly. I was having some spotting in my 7th week but was reassured through ultrasound everything was fine. In my 11th week the ultrasound found no heartbeat and no growth from the 8th week. I had a d&c immediately following while dealing with a sudden death in family all in the same week. We decided to take everyone's suggestions and try again right away and found I was pregnant only 7 weeks later. 6 weeks after that I found once again that the heartbeat was gone and no more growth. Of course we told noone the second time I was even pregnant so now I feel even more lost than with the first since it seems my life did not miss a beat and it has gone unnoticed. I have noticed I am becoming more depressed and my husband is very emotionally strained so he doesn't want to discuss it yet.
Any comfort from someone who has been there? Mary

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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
BellaOnline Editor
BellaOnline Editor
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Oh I'm so sorry, you really need some time to grieve and heal. And it sounds like it might not be a bad idea to get some grief counseling for you and your husband.

Many people don't understand that losing a baby in pregnancy is just as painful as losing a child that has been born. He or she was your child regardless and you formed attachments and started making plans and dreams. And you've been hit hard twice. This is not something to go through alone.

It is also not healthy for your husband not to speak of it at all. If he continues to bury his gried internally, it will eat him up (I have first hand expereince with this.) It can add up to severe depression, mood swings, withdrawal, and sometimes worse.

This is a time when you two need each other's love more than ever, but it is so hard when both of you are hurting so badly. Please consider seeking a professional counselor - ask your OB/GYN if he(she) can recommend one.

I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 11
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 11
i know exactly ow you feel. Although my two miscarriages were unplanned they wre far from unwanted. And i think as a result of hubby now wanting to talk about it is putting a huge strain on our marriage. So please if he's willing to go get help please do

ty tricia

Moderated by  Christine - Miscarriage 

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