BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings Daycare, should kids be in it?

My daughter was outside playing with the dandylions and blowing the seeds everywhere, OK besides the obvious weed problem this is going to create for me, it was sweet because she was making a wish.

Her wish was to have us live with Grandma and Grandpa at the Cabin. I love to listen to their wishes, dreams and prayers. All they ever want is love.

I had a [censored] shift today 10-7. To Early to do anything in the morning and too late to do anything at night. On top of that everyone I helped had a huge issue, I was running non stop most of the day. Now I'm exhausted - too exhasted to play with the kids. I just want them to leave me alone so I can plop down on the couch and watch TV. I'm sure lots of parents feel this way after a hard day at work. So in the end who suffers more?

Ever heard of Dr. James Dobson?

I recently listened to a broadcast through oneplace.com where he talks about daycare.

Well, he doesn't like it and feels that the kids should be at home with the mother.

I don't fully agree with him, I still believe part time daycare can be very beneficial for kids. I also believe that if a parent, either mother or father, can be home part time or work from home sometime that is of benefit too.

While I think some kids love daycare, I don't believe it's the place for them.

However, I've seen some stay at home moms who really do isolate their children. In this case, the children need "more" which usually equals daycare or preschool. My son needed more activities so I enrolled him in gymnastics, swimming lessons, soccer, etc...We go out 5 days a week. Not all day but every morning he has a social activity such as meeting friends at the park, etc...

I was a career woman who had no intentions of staying home. My little one was in daycare from the age of 5 months to 15 months. I know it's okay with some but seeing my child only an hour or two a day (awake) was just not okay with me. It didn't feel right and hurt me down to the core. I went with my instincts and quit. We had to be a bit frugal for me to stay home but we made it work. Luckily, I wasn't making that much as a teacher anyway.

Oh..if you do have to put your child in daycare, I believe there are some good ones out there. You really have to do your research and it's important to limit the hours your child spends there. I worked in childcare through college and I saw some kids who were dropped off at 6:30 in the morning and didn't get picked up until 6pm. I think that's absolutely terrible. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

Jan,

I think your points and concerns are valid, especially when it comes to full time daycare. When I ran my dayhome I had children for 50 hours a week. Considering children need at least 10 hours of sleep a night that's another 70 hours of no time with mommy. Then factor in activities of all family members, errands, making dinner that doesn't leave much time for parent & children.

I feel for these kids when I see that material possessions are more important than family time. It is hard for parents to take a hard look at their priorities and be honest with themselves.

So if families can arrange a schedule that enables the child to only be in daycare part time and share the time they take care of the child, it is the best of both worlds. It enables the mother to have a break and the father to have a closer relationship with their children.

We've gone back and just put Seth in part time now - he's in 3 days a week instead of 5, and most of the time I don't leave him in the full day.

I know it sounds weird, I am homeschooling my oldest (15 w/ Asperger's) my 9 year old is in the public school system, and my 3 year old goes part time to day-care; but it works for us. Because of the high needs of my oldest child, it is very hard to have Seth at home all the time while we are doing school - it is stressful for both Michael and me.

We just have to make sure that our family time is spent wisely when we are all together - not spent on the TV (unless it is like a special event , and we make it a movie night or seomthing), or other things like that. Our weekends seem so short now, because we are always out doing stuff together, but it is better than not doing stuff together!

Carennedy,

Yes, when my son was in daycare I felt like *I* wasn't the one raising him. I agree about looking at your priorities. I know so many people who say, "It's so wonderful that you can afford to stay home."

I MAKE IT HAPPEN!!! Sorry for the caps but when we decided I would stay home, we made changes. We drive older cars. We're moving from Orlando to SC because real estate is so much more affordable there, etc...It's more important for me to be home.

When I was considering quitting, I read an article that I've never been able to find online since. If I could, I'd share it here. It talked about how having a second income actually ends up COSTING some families.

I did the math and realized that I was only bringing home about $5000 a year out of $32000 a year after daycare and work-related costs. Was it worth having my son in daycare for $5000 a year? Certainly not...

Since I've been home, the quality of our life together has been so much better. The "hustle and bustle" of working, picking up kids from daycare, and so forth is over. Now we naturally go through the day in a relaxed manner. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Sure, we do activities but it's nothing like how hectic life was when I was working full-time.

I think a lot of parents just accept that hurried pace. I know we did until we experienced life with with just one parent working full-time. We didn't realize how crazy life had been until the chaos subsided.

Michelle,

I think it's great that you're meeting all their individual needs. People always ask me how long I'm going to homeschool my kids. It's going to depend on their needs and wants, so I may end up with one at home and one in school!! We'll just have to see how things go and what the future holds...

I'm fortunate because I got to make a good income and stay home. The tax deductions from the daycare meant I paid little in tax. Now my husband works from home and I am able to go to work. I found a wonderful job that gives me flexible hours and I can work from home on Fridays. When I interviewed for a position at the company I made it clear that my family came first and that flexibility was important. I didn't get that position but I was offered a higher position that gave me everything I wanted. The positions that allow flexibility are out there, it may take a while to find the right one. Took me a long time.

I am happier now than I have been in years. Having my husband home with the kids means I don't have to watch the clock to make sure I pick them up at a certain time.

I know what you mean about the costs of living...

Here is my article on the subject: Working Moms can you afford to stay home with your kids, the real cost of working

so is your name Shannon??