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I live in a small town where we are primarily supported by farming community and Apostolic Christian funding.

For 5 years I have been legally controlled by my ex-husband after the same community granted a divorce due to domestic violence issues. I continued to stay in the area hoping my ex-husband would change and have a healthy relationship with our daughter. Instead his controlling violent behavior continued.

2 days ago, my ex-husband was awarded sole custody of our daughter siting my poor attitude toward my ex-husband and an ADD/ADDHD diagnosis I do not have.

I stated My brother has ADD/ADHD. I stated also I had concerns taking a 300 question personality test as I had not been diagnosed, and worried if my brother had it could I and should that concern be noted. It was a very brief comment yet fueled the entire trial.

I am fairly naive. However, my preferred religion is Catholic and Spiritualist. I understand a couple in Marion County, Indianapolis experienced similar difficulties. It felt as if I was in a play with characters having pre-determined lines they were to resite for the transcriptionist. No matter what I said the attorneys would turn my words around.

I am quite scared and have exhausted my funds and own intellect on these issues. My ex-husband informed me of his position in the community and my ability to do nothing. It is difficult for me to believe this situation and the loss of my child.

Thank you for any input

Elleise

I'm assuming the domestic violence was against you. How does the court system justify giving your daughter to an abusive man?

Do you have any family (other than the brother) in the area?

Is there an advocacy group that you can approach with this?

Can you get your physician to write a letter stating that you do not have add/adhd? (Not to mention the fact that there is no reason for your child to be taken from you on that basis)

Who is your lawyer, and where do you stand with him/her now?
If you do not have one, contact your local BAR Association and see what rights you have given that your child has been taken from you, I would think you shouold be able to get representation through this or through an advocacy group. Do NOT enter court again without an attorney by your side. Like you said, his attorney's job is to turn you inside out, you need a professional on your side to help you.

Finally, is DFACS involved at all with this case?

These are some things to think about.

I'll check around and see if I can find any info on Illinois, at least some links for you to look into.

Definitely give the BAR ASSOC. a call though, they can get you started. (Usually state level so shouldn't be affected by your husband's "standings")

The advocacy group is a great idea. Legal Aid may also be of help. Additionally, you may wish to have a GAL (court appointed guardian) assigned to your child, to make sure she is well taken care of.

Sadly, this happens all too often. My heart goes out to you. If requesting a GAL, please be cautious and learn back history on each of them first, since when you request one, his attorney will more than likely request a name and you will be forced to go along with it, because you don't know anything about them. That is what happened to me. The GAL didn't see my children for a period of two years, yet continued to make recommendations etc. Go figure.

Check in your community, to see what resources are available. I would also suggest going through National Organizations. I am also aware of the ACLU, who has a section in which they help women such as yourself, with cases like this pertaining to domestic violence. Check also with Jeanette of the Domestic Violence section, since she has several resources listed.

I do hope that you are also taking care of yourself. Please be gentle with yourself during this time.
Kelli

You say you live in a small town and Community...but what about the county and/or state regulations...surely you have resources to reach out to...don't naivly assume they don't understand the undercurrents of your "community". You have rights that extend beyond the borders of your town..it's time you do something to help yourself...

As a survivor of domestic abuse, I have to disagree alittle with kelli above, this is not the time yet to be "gentle", that will come later. Right now you need to redirect the anger you have deep down inside and use it to your advantage... You HAVE to protect your child!! Otherwise,you don't deserve to have custody of her...the state does....you are her mother and you need to stadn up for yourself...get with itbefore it's too late!!! I'm not trying to be mean, I'm telling you the truth...I'm on your side....

Hard words, but I understand the sense of urgency! Thank you for posting them.