BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Something I dont Understand

Here it seems that people are so un-realisticaly negative that they are trying to almost convince themselves they dont want kids,instead of being at peace with their decision. (Not all of you but I seen some) And if you are at peace with something, then negative things like that dont need to come out.

I went to a Parenting board too because I am maybe re-thinking my decision (Probably not, but it just seems to be facing me again right now) And not one post was trash talking not having kids, they just talked about their children and not once about the people "Children-Free." I'm not saying that mothers dont get testy when its brought up but in this forum so much is invested in talking about how bad kids are and Pregnancy is and birth is, and there you dont hear anything about us, they just chat about them.

So insetad of talking about all the negatives of kid's and etc why dont we concentrate on all the positiives on not having them. And talk about our lives instead of how bad other people who have kids lives are. It just makes sence.

Actually, I just been to a few other CF boards and This is the most positive one yet! I still think that this whole "Child hating" thing sounds desperate and makes people look like they are always trying to "Convince themselves" they dont want kids. But at least this board has some respect.

I dont understand why we have to bring one group down to make us look better. Parents and Non-Parents are both right! Whatever way anyone wants to live is okay.

Did you get a chance to check out the "Five favorite things about being CF" post? Here we list our positives to being CF.

Why shouldn't we talk about the negatives? All we hear all day long is how great it is to be a parent, etc. etc. Then we find a group of people who DON'T want kids and for once we're safe to talk about the negative things--our fear of pregnancy, bratty kids, etc.--without someone saying "OMG, how can you say that, children are wonderful pregnancy is wonderful you must hate kids!"

Well said, Katja!!

I'm not here because my mind isn't made up. I'm here because I'm tired of the attitude I get from parents. I like having a diaper-free zone to come to where I can vent/chat/discuss. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Post deleted by Lynnk

i can't agree more! why shouldn't we be able to vent/be negative if we want to!!!that is the great thing about having a forum like this.i feel i can say so many things that i am thinking here that i would never say to people i know. it's not that most of us are "trying to convince ourselves" that our decision is right but like someone else said there is so little support and understanding for our decision that it's great to be able to say exactly what;s on our minds both positives and negatives. if you, D are sitting on the fence there are websites and support groups for that that you might find better suit you than this one. just a thought.
also we have a right to our opinions,thoughts, feelings even if they are "negative"as you D describe. i personally like reading on this forum b/c a lot of things other people say here are things that i have thought, believed myself that i wouldn't say outloud b/c of society's attitude towards cfers plus i wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of friends and other people i know that are or want to be parents.
indigo

the reason child worshippers do not mention CF negatively is because they pretend we don't exist. we threaten their choice to be child worshippers. only when we are in their face do they conclude we either are uneducated in the glories of parenting or we are selfish. otherwise we don't even exist in their Zanadu mindset.

Post deleted by Lynnk