BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids OK What's SO WRONG with being SELFISH?

Try the last one...the other two were news items and articles..Obviously relevant to the day, but unfortunately now unavailable... A case of 'yesterday's news', even on the WWW - !!

Let me see what I can do about finding them for you...

Try this one: Look at the articles on the right of the baby photo....

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/family/0,,,00.html

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Oh Pooh.

The two articles spoke basically about how the British are putting careers and enjoyment before having families, and about how women (in order to hold down a career, as opposed to a job) have to juggle, but men , by and large, don't.....

quite interstting.

Sorry you couldn't get them.... very odd, that.... <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Freespirit and Alexandra-

This article sounds very interesting. It is also of note to point out that not once in all of these little MNK vs. Moms arguments have the fathers been mentioned...MomsPaula just posted about Moms bearing the weight of "cleaning up the mess" of society, but what about the Dads? Is it just me or should they bear an equal responsibility here? Also- why should those who do not have children and choose not to bear as much responsibility as those who choose to raise a family? Doesn't choosing kids mean you accept that burden? Just my thoughts...

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I refuse to believe anything is wrong with me because I am confident in my choice to remain childfree. I am not idealistic about motherhood. Trust me when I say my mom didn't beat around the bushes in telling my sister and me that children were in essence burdens to mothers because it is up to them to care for them (my mother was a single parent-widow). I don't think she meant to traumatize us but all of this certainly turned me against children. I internalized the whole situation of having to be prepared to care for children on my own because there was no guarantee that the father would participate in the child rearing or even live to see you grow up.

An excellent point. My sister jumped right in and had two children without even thinking about it. Now, 8 years later, she is divorced and can't even handle her own life, not to mention the kids. I don't think she ever even considered the possibility that she might not always have a husband to help out and she truly has hit rock bottom now. Left the kids with dad and moved to Seattle...so it just makes me think that she should have considered her choices more carefully before even having them. If she wasn't prepared to care for them by herself, she never should have had them to begin with...sounds pretty harsh, but I really feel that way.

I understand what you are saying though. My mom has all but said that if she could do it over again, my sister and I would not have been born because of all of her struggles of trying to raise 2 children alone...one of my friends mom (another widow) said the very same thing. 2 out of 3 of her children were hellions and she ended up having to raise their children (her grandchildren), so I could definitely see why she felt that way.
Not to mention that there are way too many single parents and widows in my family for me to ever think or expect the husband to stick around to help me raise them.

As a social worker, I see many single parents on a day to day basis DST lady.
It's too bad these gals didn't get some advice before deciding to be **Moms** , because the guys they were involved with surely didn't want anything to do with parenthood. It really is unbelievable how they decide to have kids with no forethought on how they are going to provide for them. Unfortunatly it will imprint on the kids that this is the normal way to have a family, unless they get some good role models in school or from their 2 parented friends. The selfish issue falls by the wayside to common sense, or at least it should.