BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Rant Week Begins - June 2005

I am hereby initiating a new event in our forum:

RANT WEEK!!!

Rant week will take place during the last week of the month and this is how it will work.

I will post a rant week message on the 23rd(or 24th depending on the month) day of the week stating that Rant Week has begun, leaving the last seven days of the month as the week of the month entirely devoted to Etiquette Rants.

Because we are getting started on the 27th, Rant Week will continue until Sunday, July 3rd.

Of course, you can continue to vent your frustrations any time of the month, but this is the time especially devoted to ranting about the bad etiquette of others (or even yourself if you can handle it).

So I challange you: Everytime you see/hear some one display some sort of bad etiquette that grates your nerves, run to your computer and post it on the forum.

Some one have road rage (bad driving etiquette)? Did you give a gift only to have it thrown up in your face? Write about it here.

Now, HERE ARE THE RULES:

- No bashing! If someone posts something about etiquette that you disagree with, you can feel free to present your side as long as there is no belittling of the other poster.

-And remember, the general rules of the BellaOnline Forum MUST be adhered to.

Okay, I'll begin my rant.....

Waitstaff who are clueless. I was in a dinning establishment last week and the waitress spilled a large glass of soda on my shoulder. She did not appologize or attempt to clean up the mess. She merely handed me a rag to clean myself. This was the same rag used to wipe down tables.

A lot of people are inconsiderate across the board! <img src="/images/graemlins/wall.gif" alt="" />

Paula, how dreadful <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> As well as an apology, they should've offered you a free meal or at least charged you only half-price, and maybe even offered to dry-clean your outfit. Did you leave a tip? I ask about the tip because I had friend whose father was in the hospitality industry and he had taught her to leave a decent tip even if the service wasn't good. I can't remember the reason why though <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

My pet peeve is people not lining up in queues. People jump ahead and don't line up straight so you can't tell where the line starts. "Everybody" seems to think ME FIRST!

Sometimes I will let people in ahead of me if I have several items and they only have one or two, I think that's a commonsense courtesy. If I'm not in a rush why should I hold them up in the line? Occassionally (sp?) others have done the same for me <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/images/graemlins/music.gif" alt="" /> Kennie, rant week is an excellent idea <img src="/images/graemlins/music.gif" alt="" />

This is a neat idea. Interesting dates you came up with. What significance does the last part of the month play? I know that police officers give more tickets out to meet their quota, as do parking enforcement.

I got my vehicle back at Jiffy Lube today with a dirty mirror - they cleaned it with the broken windshield blade, even after I told them I bought one and had it on the front seat. Even the small window at my door was cloudy looking.

On another note - I enjoyed reading the thank you cards article on your site. I started a few years ago a yahoo card club where we send cards to our kids for holidays and birthdays - and for Mom's birthdays and Mother's Day. It is only for single parents with a child on the autism spectrum - I need to retool the idea and broaden it so I can get new participants.

I really like those Hallmark commercials showcasing the notebook holder for all cards and how the lady is listening to her guests and comes out with a card for a birthday mentioned.

Someone calling you on the phone and saying "who is this" and I always reply "who are you calling?". And no, it is not children calling!! Connie

I think we left 10%. We usually tip 16-20%. I know what waitstaff get "paid" and the importance of tips. The sad part is that she is probably still clueless why we were unhappy.

Okay, I'll rant about tips. I know the need to leave a decent tip. Most waitstaff work very hard for their tips.

What I [color:"red"]hate[/color] is when we go out to eat with my in-laws and their friends. Of course it has to be the early bird special, so the bill isn't very large. They run the poor waiter/waitress ragged, and then don't want to leave a tip. We always volunteer to leave the tip.

I've had some instances where my in-laws' friends will take the money off the table and leave a much smaller amount. They give me back the money and loudly proclaim it's too much. <img src="/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I end up telling everyone to meet me at the car because I have to go to the ladies' room. I then have to go back and leave the proper tip.
<img src="/images/graemlins/wall.gif" alt="" />

I'm so glad that everyone's enjoying the rant! I came up with this idea last month and I don't remember exactly how I had the idea, but I was surfing through the forum and the next thing I knew I was drafting up the rant message.

Actually I picked the last part of the month because that was the time I thought of it last month. But if anyone knows of some etiquette parallel, let me know.

Paula, I share your pain. The first article I posted to my site was on tipping and it was very autobiographical. I have many family members who will order a $50 dinner and think that everyone leaving a dollar is appropriate. And when I treated them to the Red Lobster last year (that's how rarely I eat with them), I left a significant tip and when it was time to leave one family member said that they would meet us at the car. It only took me a second to realize that they were going to take the tip off the table. So I picked up the tip and handed to the waitress.

ConnieM, I do the same thing when I pick up the phone. This happens most frequently at my parents home. When I answer the phone there, the caller is usually some extended family member and when I say hello, they'll ask who is this and I reply the same. This usually goes on for about ten seconds, when I reply: If you don't tell me who you are and what you want, I'm hanging up!

I hope everyone continues to enjoy rant week. It should be fun and VERY therapeutic.

Remember, post anytime you see/hear bad etiquette. We want to gripe with you!

<img src="/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
This one always irritates me: When teens or perfectly healthy men will just sit there and stare at a senior citizen or VERY pregnant woman on a tram/train and not offer to give up their seat. Quite honestly it even irritates me when young healthy women ignore them, too!

When did it become such a hardship to be thoughtful?

RANT IN RESPONSE:
<img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Last year my engine died and since every penny I have is budgeted out, there was no room for a new car at that time. So I ended up riding the bus for most of the year.

I do agree with you, but once when I was riding the bus the only seat available when I got on was a seat reserved for the disabled. On the next stop, a lady in her mid-40s got on the bus and completely reamed me out for not letting her sit down.

Now let me say this, SHE LOOKED GREAT!!! I had no idea she was disabled until she told me. And as soon as she did, I got up and let her sit down. But also what amazes me is that there was a man sitting next to me (also in a disabled seat), and she said nothing to him.

What ever happened to being magnanimous? Give people the benefit of the doubt, man! Especially when things are not already obvious.

I've seen elderly citizens who are laboring for air after chasing down the bus exhibit more rational behavior.

I see your point, I was talking about the obvious cases.

I guess the reason it irritates me so much is because it has happened to me. When I was in my 9th month of pregnancy, I had to pick my children up from the airport and ride that little tram thing to the gate. Balance on that thing is precarious BEFORE you're carrying 35 extra pounds of weight stuck out in front of you. It was also July, I was suffering from pre-eclampsia, and my ankles were almost as big around as my calves. There was this 20-something couple wearing tennis gear, so they definitely LOOKED very athletic. Any-way I was standing right in front of them and not once did one of them offer a seat, I was eventually offered a seat by a silver haired gentleman whom I didn't feel right taking the seat from! But his wife informed me that if I didn't sit down he'd break his neck trying to make sure I was safe, so I might as well take his seat. <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I think people taking the handicapped parking spaces (when not handicapped)goes along with the pregnant/disabled rant.

Kennie, how could she ream you out when you only took the last seat available and she wasn't there when you got on??!!

I have a very pregnant daughter right now and I guess some people figure "she is young..." without even thinking I bet her back hurts or her feet. She says people come right up and touch her belly without asking. Kinda creepy!

Connie

OOOOOOH yes! Personal space goes WAY out the window when you are pregnant. It's like your elly is public property or something. I turned into a bulldog with my last child about that issue, and near about bit abybody's head off if they were a stranger and tried to touch me (of course the depression thing didn't help matters much) <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Ok, let me ask y'alls opinion on this. My Mom is a caterer, so she is very concerend with etiquette, especially when it comes to weddings, showers, etc.

She actually got upset w/ my mother-in-law for throwing a baby shower for me because it wasn't proper, it should have been given by one of the sister-in-laws (who are all related by marriage, my husbamd has all brothers) I personally thought it was very sweet.

So, is it okay to overlook "proper etiquette" when the person is being thoughtful and trying?

Here's my rant: (Since the highway department won't let me post signs on the roads!)

1--If there are 14 cars behind you in the left (fast) lane and none in front of you, you are the problem--Get out of the way!

2--We don't care if it's an important phone call--hang up and drive or pull over and talk.

3--Your rearview mirror is for looking at traffic behind you. It is not for putting on mascara or picking something out of your teeth.

4--If going over 25 mph gives you vertigo, take the back roads or call a cab!

5--Signal lights are a good thing when you are actually going to turn. You rarely need to keep them blinking for 20 straight minutes driving down the interstate.

6--It's okay to eat while driving if you must. That's why they invented finger foods. It's not okay to eat soup with a spoon.

7--Reading the paper and driving just don't mix.

8--My car has a stereo, too. There's no need for you to try to share yours with me or the entire hearing world.

9--If you don't know where you're going and you can't see street signs, buy a map. Stopping at every cross street to put on your reading glasses is just wrong.

10--If you pass on the shoulder to get around a traffic jam more quickly than the rest of us mere humans, you will be cursed (and cussed) by the rest of us, so look out for the bad karma that's hitching a ride.

I feel better now, thanks! <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Something happened today that bothered me and it happens often. What bugs me the most is I do not understand why this change occurs in the first place.

Today my cable station switched CNN 46 to the number TBS 38was and now TBS is at CNN. I had the numbers all together for my cable news shows and now they mixed it up on me.

A few months ago they did it with National Geographic, which my kids like with VH1 - now I really do not need them seeing those shows, but luckily my son has the 73 and 37 in the right order.

They also switched Discovery channel with MTV. I just don't get it. There is no need for this chaos in trying to remember the numbers.

In response to Bella Deb:

I think that Driving Etiquette is a whole new world that none of the experts have gotten around to addressing as yet. The Bureau of Motor Vehicles lists the rules for driving (which sounds like etiquette to me) and no one adheres to them.

So since I just stepped into the office from my morning freeway experience, let me list a driving rant or two:

- Don't cut me off and then slow down to 15mph. If you're going to cut me off, at least intend to do the speed limit so that you don't disturb the flow of traffic.

- When you see that I'm about to pass you up, please oh please, do not move over to hog up both lanes and prevent me from passing. THAT'S JUST RUDE!!! <img src="/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Yes, Kennie! Yesterday I was driving on the interstate--only about a 20 minute trip, and I just kept thinking these people don't have a clue! There should be signs along the roadside or frequent PSA's on the radio!

I think people don't realize they're not invisible in their cars. Years ago, someone cut me off and I was about to honk and rant, and realized it could be one of my guests (I managed a hotel at the time). So, I rarely try to communicate in traffic anymore--I don't want these idiots distracted anymore than they already obviously are. Usually, I need a few minutes after arriving anywhere to take some deep breaths and wonder how I can buy myself a helicopter.

Thanks for this topic--great idea.

I have to make a confession. I actually called 911 on a driver two weeks ago. We were driving on the I75 just north of Chattanooga. There was a BMW convertable swerving all over the road. She almost hit a big semi. It was in a construction area as well.

It was a woman in her 40s, driving alone, with huge coolers in her car, and sipping from a cup. I don't think it was soda.

So, if you got caught behind the policecar ticketing that woman (I hope) it was me who sent them after her.

Bravo Paula!

That's not etiquette, that's endangerment! People seem to think it's no big deal to drink and drive (in this case literally!) But it causes death and all sorts of emotional pain for the family. We all need little mini video cameras on the top of our cars.

PS Sorry Kennie, we've kinda overswept your intended forum I think. ummmmmmm elbows on the table? <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Oh no, this is supposed to be a week of ranting, so we can rant about anything regarding etiquette.

That being said, I think a lot of us forget our manners when driving and I know that I do the same. (My cousin wants me to let everyone know that I do it MOST OF THE TIME). Every state publishes a handbook on driving etiquette, but as soon as we walk out of the DMV, we forget good behavior.