SUE24
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss.
I had my first miscarriage 17 years ago at the age of 25 - I was seven weeks pregnant and was undergoing fertility treatment at the time - we'd been trying for 4 years. I was devastated and felt that I could not face the world or my friends and family - I was ashamed! Going back to work to be amongst colleagues who I'd told of my forthcoming pregnancy joy was something I dreaded more than anything. I didn't however, return back to work for a good few weeks until a colleague phoned me to tell me that I was not to blame myself, that it was out of my hands and that she too, had undergone something similar. I returned to work shortly after and threw myself into my work waiting and planning for the next pregnancy - they say to leave it three months to allow your body to heal. Many people will tell you that there will be other pregnancies and other babies, which won't be of the slightest comfort to you at this devastating time - you may say to yourself "but I wanted that baby." All of these feelings are normal Sue - you are mourning your loss. You will find that there are many women out there who have suffered a miscarriage so you are not to blame yourself - time will heal you, but very slowly. Although I hasten to say that you will never ever forget your loss and the feelings that you are going through at the moment. I only hope that I have helped you a little as my colleague did for me all that time ago - I have never forgotten her comfort.
Women and their partners who suffer a miscarriage often have severe grief over the loss of their baby. It does not matter how far along the mother was at the time of her loss, and, in fact, many women grieve as much over the loss of a baby in the first trimester as they do for a stillborn baby or a baby that dies many months or years after birth. Grief is very individual, and friends and loved ones should try to be kind and supportive through this difficult process.
God bless you and comfort you in your time of sorrow! I am thinking of you.