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#176441 08/01/04 04:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
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When was the last time you spent time with friends? What did you do?

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Joined: Jul 2004
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I have a monthly Art Club meeting. This time we made handmade books, decorating the covers and sharing our fun. I look forward to these meetings for the inspiration and the socialization.

Joined: Jul 2005
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I'll answer this, although you'll wish I hadn't! ; )

I moved to California from Ohio 5 months ago to live with a boyfriend of 3 years who is considerably older than me. I have made NO friends here yet and had to travel home for the 4th of July just to see the friends I do have! I've been on Meetup.com to try to get involved in some local groups that share my interests: two of which are books and birdwatching, but it looks like those groups don't exist in my area. I e-mailed a local birding person I found out about- he never replied. My job is a no-go for a new friend: I have tried to initiate some conversation with a few here, but to no avail. The people here seem very self-absorbed and "not my type". I've looked all around for some kind of interesting organization to be a part of, but it's almost like people here are too busy for that kind of stuff. I don't really know what else to do about this situation. I mean, I think I'm interesting, I'm decent looking, I think I'm nice- is it that hard to make friends in this world??? This post sounds so pitiful but I seriously AM trying to approach this with a sense of humor- I'm about to take out a personal ad! ; )

My BF is a wonderful man who has some very close friends from childhood, but I'm not looking to nose in on those friendships- I want some of my own!!

So in a word- my social life "sucks"! : )

Joined: Oct 2002
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Elephant
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I have a wide range of interests and have three little social groups that I go to once a month. I also have worked as a volunteer with an educational group for a few years, and that is just 3 hours a week, once a week. I've done that one for almost three years (wow!). Both of those options let me stay in touch with some folks I've known for a while, and also give me an opportunity to meet new folks.

A really good girlfriend of mine who lives about an hour away and I have a monthly movie date, as her husband just can't ever seem to be dragged out to one. She and I are crazy about movies! So, once a month, she comes over, we pick up some food, rent a few DVDs and then just soak up the filmic goodness. Sometimes we go see something that's out in the theaters, but more often we watch something rented so we can do more than one film. Those TV season DVD box sets are spectacular for that purpose.

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I try to keep in the habit of calling my circle of friends at least once a month. You really have to reach out to friends because everyone gets busy and its very easy to lose touch and bam a year or two has passed.

I'm careful of what types of activities I get involved with. I have friends who'd rather throw back a few drinks at a bar and call that recreation. I'll minimize my time at bars and clubs because its really a waste of time.

Social, religious and charity groups are usually good calls for finding decent like minded people.

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 51
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Aug 2006
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my social life sucks. lol. I moved in with my BF, now husband, 3 years ago due to a Workmans comp injury issue. i basically shut down.
i find i ebb and flow depending on the pain.
it just seems hard to now get out and do things. i do have a student i teach for literacy teaching thru the library.
any other ideas? oh i go to collage too. have one night class two nights a week for 3 hours each this semester.


flowr
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
~W.B. Yeats ~
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My social life is fantastic. Go dancing 4 times a week, dining out once a week and seem to be on the phone chatting every day.

Would not change my life for anything.


Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them
but you always know they are there.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 210
Shark
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I find I'm surrounded by a ton of friends, but I do feel the distance as I'm at the age where going out partying is still the norm and I live iwht my boyfriend and would rather be doing more constructive things with my time although I do love partying too, I feel I'm gettin a bit old for it.


*~*SwishyKid*~*
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Parakeet
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As a full-time mom, I make getting out of the house by myself a priority. I usually meet another mommy friend or two for coffee, dinner, or a movie. I go out at least once a week.

Joined: Oct 2006
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Can't say I have much of a social life at all. I grew up very much a loner, as I was painfully shy and was abused (sexualy and verbally) as a child. I had one friend when I was really young - around the age of 7-8 - but she moved away when I was 9. Then I made friends with a girl across the street briefly, but was ostracized because I was older than her by almost 4 years - that was when I was around 10-12, so that friendship didn't last long. I was fortunate when I was around 14 to become friends with a girl at the end of the street, she and I were the same age and both of us were in abusive homes, and we both had the same interests, so we clicked immediately. We are still best of friends today (I'm 49 now), but unfortunately we live almost 1000 miles apart.

I do find it very hard to make new friends, always did. I'm not the greatest conversationalist in the world, and my interests tend to be somewhat different than most people I tend to meet. While most women around here (that I've met) are into talking about work, or husbands, or shopping, I am more interested in spirituality, animals, writing, horseback riding, that kind of thing. I am extremely fortunate though; my sister and I have always been best of friends, and we live only 10 minutes away from one another, as well as work at the same company. We do get together every so often with four other women from work to go out to dinner or just have a gettogether, but unfortunately it's not too often. I tend to find those gettogethers not very exciting any more anyway, as they wind up becoming an excuse to chat and complain about work - something I hate doing. (I figure, I spend over 8 hours a day there...I just dislike incorporating it into my personal time as well.)

I also have a close friend I met online several years ago who lives near Boston...and again, unfortunately she and I live quite a distance apart. I did go and visit her a couple of years ago and we had a wonderful time together...hopefully we'll get to do it again sometime.

Oh, and I am so thankful for one thing; my son is one of those people who is constantly making new friends. I grew up in a family where we were discouraged from making friends...weren't allowed to invite anyone into the house, weren't allowed to take part in any organised events, and if we did have a friend over, they rarely ever came back, as our dad made it so uncomfortable for them...banging things around, getting angry and yelling (no wonder we grew up so socially stinted). But my son has always been surrounded by friends, and is always managing to make new ones as well. I guess it's the old 'I'm so glad he didn't turn out like me' thing, at least in that one respect.

And while I do tend to keep to myself a fair bit, I also find that I sometimes wish I had a larger circle of friends. I've tried meeting new people around here, but for the most part haven't been successful. My sister, who has always been a 'social butterfly' seems to be having the same problem; she says she's finding it very hard to meet people and form friendships that last. However, I am not one to give up, and will keep trying. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

***Oops...I didn't really answer the original question! Well, two nights ago my little circle of work friends got together for a belated Halloween dinner (minus one who couldn't make it). For the most part it was fun, but the conversation did keep getting swayed back to work time and time again. During those periods I fought to keep from falling asleep...but at least it was fun to get out...

Last edited by wondering; 11/06/06 11:37 AM.
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