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#134400 05/27/02 05:42 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
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I have a friend in a wheel chair, and I want to help her out, because I like her. But I don't want her to be upset because I'm trying to help her when she doesn't want help. I don't want her to feel like she always has to ask me, though, before I'll help out. What do I do?


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#134401 06/04/02 04:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Goldeen:
[qb]I have a friend in a wheel chair, and I want to help her out, because I like her. But I don't want her to be upset because I'm trying to help her when she doesn't want help. I don't want her to feel like she always has to ask me, though, before I'll help out. What do I do?[/qb]
Goldeen,
Just ask her. You would ask anyone else if they need help, right? Just ask and she will let you know.

#134402 06/15/02 10:14 AM
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I am disabled and would much prefer that people ask before they help. Even my husband asks first and he knows me very well and knows sometimes I don't like to ask because I am stubborn. :-)

However, I hope none of you are like the gentleman I encounted in a Walmart parking lot. I used to use crutches to stand and lift my wheelchair into the back seat of my car. A nice Chinese man came along and insisted on helping even though I said no. He took the chair away from me and put it in. I said thanks, then, after he walked away, took it out and put it in the way it needed to go. It was pretty funny after I got over being annoyed.


Christi
#134403 07/13/02 07:20 PM
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i totally agree on the asking thing. i find it hard to ask for things at times for fear of being a bother, or just because i don't feel comfortable (even though i am fighting hard with myself to stop thinking that way). there is more feeling of independence if my friends initiate the help, and then i get to choose to accept the favor or not. if you are worried about offending your friend by asking them if they need your assistance, just talk with them about it. once you get there point of view on the matter, then you can better judge the situation next time. another less threatening approach is to say something to the affect of "hey, i'm going to the store, is there anything i can get for you while i'm out?" or "man i'm thirsty, would you like a glass of water while i'm up?". it is a little more sneaky (my friends do it all the time hehe), but this way they/we don't feel that you are having to do anything extra.
i hope this helps!
dana <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


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