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#134363 04/10/03 04:35 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
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Mary L Offline OP
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Marie is an AP parent and probably co-sleeps, as do I. How in the world can you watch a movie with your spouse when your baby is sleeping? Baby sleeps in bed with me and I'd be afraid to leave him there and go downstairs to watch a movie. He could get hurt and roll off the bed or worse. Plus, he usually wakes up when he realizes I'm not in bed with him. I have no time alone with my husband and my son is now 15 months old. It's been very rough on my marriage but he won't sleep by himself. I don't know what to do.

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#134364 05/02/03 08:45 PM
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You have my sympathies! I went through the same thing until my son was probably a little over 2, and then he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes!

It really *does* mean a sacrifice to parent this way. And our strong marriage definitely showed signs of strain at times!

A couple of suggestions I have for you:

** Consider a sling...many accomodate toddlers. Once he is heavily asleep, you can put the sling down on the floor. www.hiphmmock.com also has slings specifically for older babies & toddlers...

**You could also think about a pallet upstairs... putting a folded comforter on the floor, with folded towels to prevent him from rolling too far if he is a "thrasher"as my son is! Put some expressed breastmilk on the towels & comforter s he has your "smell" near him to simulate your presence. Being that he is 15 months, I don't think that would pose a risk. Obviously, you wouldn't do that with an infant due to the risk of suffocation.

One other thing you might consider is hooking up with an AP support group, if there is one near you. www.attachmentparenting.org hs a listing of local groups. Often they will have a babysitting co-op, so you will have like-minded folks to trade off a few hours with!

Let us know what you decide & how it works!


Boneva Braaten
#134365 06/29/05 10:17 AM
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Amoeba
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One of the things we did was move the tv into our bedroom. The kids really did not need to watch it all the time anyway! :-)

From an early age, our baby was used to sleeping with tv for background or "white" noise (we usually put on the music channels until he is asleep and while he naps - it drowns out all the other kids in the house!). Now, at age 3, he knows that when the tv goes on, it's lights out and eyes shut! It allows DH and I to watch dvds or tv together for a few hours without leaving baby's side. It is our favorite time of the day so I agree that it can be successfully incorporated into an AP lifestyle and very nurturing for a marriage.

As an added side effect, as he got older there are some things we do like to watch as a family. Sports playoffs, family movies, etc. It is nice to be able to watch them until the baby passes out (in bed) and not have to worry about holding him through the whole thing or moving him later.


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#134366 07/12/05 03:33 AM
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I think it's all to do w/ what "kind" of child you have. We co-slept w/ our first out of absolute necessity. She was "high-needs" and it was very difficult. There is no way that we could have put her down and watched a movie. Now, w/ my 2nd child, we are co-sleeping just because we want to. this kid could happily and easily sleep alone in a crib, but I just can't bear it. She sleeps in our bed in a sleep-positioner taht has bolsters on both sides to protect her from rolling (it's like a bed w/in a bed). We can put her down to sleep (awake!!) and walk away. She'll nod off to sleep. The differences between these 2 girls amaze me.


Tuculia Washington,Daughter Editor
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#134367 07/12/05 07:47 AM
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you can buy inexpensive bed guards that attach to your bed and will keep baby from falling out. I wouldnt use them with a small infant, but small infants can't roll over and fall out of bed either.

I also know ppl who get rid of their bedframe while co-sleeping and keep the mattress on the floor, that way there isn't much of a fall should the child roll out.

I've been co-sleeping with my kids off and on for 9 yrs now and the only time they have rolled out of bed has been when I was right there doing something like changing my clothes, and the baby wasn't sleeping. I've never had a sleeping baby roll out of bed.

HTH!
Meg


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#134368 10/25/05 12:12 AM
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Hi Mary:

Actually, I went through the same thing...so much so, I wrote about it! Hope it helps you too:
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art1518.asp

Hope this helps & best wishes!!!


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