A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is leafing through the Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering.
After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I don't really see that you ever really did anything great in your life, but I don't see anything really bad either.
"Tell you what," St. Peter says. "If you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, I'll let you in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "OK, well there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a gang assaulting this poor girl."
"I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em torturing this woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and approached them. The gang members formed a circle around me. "
"I ripped the first guy's chain out off his neck and smashed him. I then walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. "
"I hit the leader over the head with the tire iron, then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! Go home before I really teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About ten minutes ago."
