Oh Nancy, you've really almost come full circle. You're soOo right too about abusive parents. A child, sometimes as a self preserving tactic blocks, especially, the emotional stuff out because the truth is just too painful.
One of my dearest and best friends just now (the past yr or so) sees their parents for what they are. That doesn't me they don't love them, but it's given them some freedom not to be a part of the "drama." Co-dependence call also become a part of the equation simply because it's something that works for the family.
I'm so glad to hear you're doing all of the freeing things your Soul is entitled to. I'll bet the more you do, the writing becomes more fluent. Maybe the "Spiders" are recurrent, detailing our own personal webs??? They can come and go as they please