Nancy, thank you for putting the guilt thing in perspective. I feel better. I know what you mean about insomnia. I have it, too. I developed it about ten years ago when I was stuck in a job that I really should have quit awhile back (I always tend to stay in jobs far past the time when I should leave!).
So now my insomnia is an established habit that the brain keeps falling into. Weird how that kind of thing works with the habit continuing long after the original cause is gone. Anyway, last night I was so physically tense that I just couldn't get into a good sleeping position. So I'm thrashing around, trying to plump up the pillows or put them to one side, and throw off the covers or pull them up. It was so immensely frustrating! That is usually how insomnia manifests with me: physical tension, and sometimes mental tension with my thoughts running all over the place.
What seems to help is (1) to exercise with a daily walk like you're doing already, (2) to listen to my 15-minute relaxation CD, which is very helpful. It's here at Amazon.ca if you're interested in having a look, and (3) getting up at the same time every morning no matter what. After some really bad insomnia (like only 3 or 4 hours sleep) and then having to get up early, I will generally feel exhausted (one might even say zombified) through the day, but that usually helps me to sleep well when the next night rolls around. Kind of a re-set. I'm also one of those poor devils that needs 8 hours (and would like to have 9 hours) of sleep to feel at my best.
So it sounds like you're into watching sports! That is so cool. You'll always have a topic of conversation when you meet people. I am kind of a sports dunce. I don't follow the World Cup or anything, and I don't even know the rules of American football. And I've actually tried to learn because I've thought, "Oh, it'll always be a topic of conversation!" The one sport I follow is boxing, but I haven't had time since 2012 when Manny Pacquiao lost the Welterweight title to that other guy -- whoa, has it really been two years since I've watched a boxing match? You see what I mean about time passing!
The reading and the activity books sound good. For people like us who do a lot of computer work, it can be essential to do something completely different for relaxation, especially if it's something hands-on. I've been casting around for something like that to do. I like to experiment with crafts like jewelry making, and I've thought about doing something like putting together jigsaw puzzles -- but what often stops me is the question, "what will I do with the results once I'm done?" I have sort of a love-hate relationship with clutter.
You have my full sympathy about the situation with your parents. That has got to be a difficult situation. Mine are both dead at this point, and in some ways it's a vast relief, though it sounds weird to say so. We weren't all that close, but even if we had been, I think the relationship between any parent and their grown-up offspring can hold a lot of tension.
Here's hoping we both have a good day today even with insomnia!
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