Hi Zoe, you write so well my imagination is satisfied. Maybe where you are you will consider growning a sunflower in a suitable container? Could be a speciman plant and of course would need enough sun - but if you can't, then perhaps you can consider some other type of balcony or wall decor using a sunflower motif to remind you of the joy of those days and to celebrate you new choices.
Cheers then to she who does not lurk! smiling!