Very new to the site and forums in general. So this is a huge step already for me to be on here, lol. There is no doubt that I have trust issues and it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable enough to express my true feelings with people (face to face). I have seeked professional help (therapist) on this and have gotten better at the "emotional sharing." I probably didn't get in touch with my emotions until last year. I was numb for years.
I am not ashamed of my anxiety. Emotions are okay and make us human. What matters is how we deal with anxiety. I don't have panic attacks every day, only when everything gets too much. I had one this morning and the last one happened about two months ago. But I don't know, it feels like my family are dramatising my anxiety even more? And I only confide in them when I feel nervous about something once a month. But after today, I'm kind of done with the sharing with them. Not after I willing listen to their drama everyday.
They go, "you do know you have anxiety and depression?"
Le me - *Well, duh!*
"You need to handle it on your own."
Me - which is what I have been doing for months on end.
A lot has happened in the last twelve months of my life. There has been many funerals, career changes, a lose of closeness I used to have with two family members (cousins but they were my siblings), one terrible break-up (still single today) and my autistic brother turning eighteen (due to the transition his behavior has changed drastically and he has become more high needs).
I wake up happy everyday and go to sleep happy. It's just you still have your bad days and that is okay. Things have built up again and I crumbled with the tears this morning. I only cry when I crumble under the stress of everything. I'm 21 and still live at home due to studying at uni. I write a lot of fiction, participate alot in uni clubs, have lots of hobbies and work many jobs. I do plan to move out but can't afford to yet and I have high aspirations to travel before I do.
I suppose my thing today is that I'm looking for another pair of ears or in this case eyes to listen and maybe give advice. I can no longer talk to family anymore because their stress levels cannot take the extra weight of my own (so they claim which does hurt because I'm always listening everyday but when it comes to my worries, they don't want to hear it). I can talk to friends about some things but at the moment, it seems like they are spinning the conversation around and it's just about their problems. I'm just feel drained and so tried even though I'm sleeping like eight plus hours a day. I feel like my nerves are fried.
Does this sound like a burnout? If so, does anyone have any coping strategies?
Thank you for listening. I feel slightly better now that I've expressed some feelings.