Thank you very much Lori! I appreciate this very much!
The worst with my mom is that she can see what others cannot see about themselves but she can never look at herself and her own actions. She rarely gets mad and when she does it's almost always when someone tells her that she is wrong about something. Almost 100% of what she is mad about with my grandmom she does herself, she just cannot see it.
Today I made a little step and hopefully this little step will lead to bigger steps that will help me get a life that I love. My dreams seems to be telling me that I will succeed, that gives me hope.