My boyfriend came in when I was wiping down the bookcase that my parakeet's cage used to sit on. My keet died two days ago. The bookcase had seeds and such on it. He had made the bookcase for me.
My boyfriend made a comment along the lines of "Glad to see you kept that bookcase so clean - oh wait, you didn't." I.e. snide.
My response was, "I'm sitting here cleaning away the remnants of a beloved pet. Surely that comment wasn't necessary."
He was quiet and left me to my cleaning.
I realize we all deal with grief differently, but sometimes I think people don't think before they say some things. There's no reason to add more sadness in the world.
If the purpose of a comment is primarily to make someone feel sad, or conversely to make others feel good by making them feel better than another person, I just don't see how that is a good thing. Would my boyfriend feel better by making me sadder? Would that make him feel less sad? Is that a healthy way to live?
He's normally quite supportive so the whole situation struck me as just odd. He went with me to the vet when Ivory was at her end. He held Ivory just before the vet took her away.