Since moving here I basically only am in front of the computer or the television. I was walking a lot at the beginning but I stopped that after the second Summer. When I am awake in bed I just stay there instead of getting up.

I stay with the two people who are the most toxic in my life so it is hard to get away. I have no job so the exit doors are rare and very small.

I was able to find a way to ignore my parents but they have this habit of whistleling and singing and that drives me insane and I cannot ignore that. I know that it must sound stupid saying this but it's the way they do it. My dad does it like the people who are crazy does it and he also often breath but whistle and sing while doing that and when he does that he sounds like someone who is about to blow up and do something awful. My mom is doing that to immitate him, at first she did not even noticed it then it looked like she did and now she is close to doing it exactly like my dad which is like someone who is crazy. The worst with my mom is that her too was annoyed by my dad doing that at first then she just become like that.

If I see that there is no way for me to move I will either have to start walking again or go back to school or at least do something else outside the house like learn how to swim because I see myself losing it or having to take antidepressants to be able to cope with that.

On March 15 I'm supposed to go to Rimouski (more than 1 hour from here) with a neighbor (she is the only normal person in this stupid town AND she has a Golden Retriever who loves me) so I will have a few hours of peace being able to talk to someone during that time.