Burt, thank you for sharing so freely of yourself. I know it is difficult. It is for me. I share your pain, and I understand it.
I don't have any friends, either. I mean, there are people I care for who I communicate with online, and I would love to see some of them. However, since I can't ever predict how I will feel at any given time, I'm afraid to commit to getting together with people. And sometimes, I just cannot talk to people. Just like sometimes I'm unable to come onto this forum. It's not that I don't want to--I just feel so anxious about it, I can't.
As for the videos, I couldn't get to them. Raw URLs aren't supposed to be posted in here, so maybe that's why. I guess I'm supposed to delete that, but I don't know.
Anyway, know that I care about your pain and your struggles. I share them with you. I wish only the best for you. There are so many of us who are suffering. I'm so glad that you have Connie and your cats. I have Kelley and my little doxie. They help keep me going, since I'm away from my daughter now. She's 20 years old & staying with my mom, and it's tearing me apart. I just have to try to take care of me for now, and that's a full-time job!