I am so sorry for your loss. I just had a miscarriage too and I understand how awful it is and although it was very early for me it does feel like part of me is missing too.
I went to the doctor with a really bad strep throat etc etc, I told her that I had had some strange bleeding 2 weeks beforehand and that perhaps it had been a miscarriage,she said it didn't sound like a mc but she didn't know what it was,she did a urine test,later that day someone called me and told me it was positive, I was shocked and delighted, I went back in the next day and the nurse and trainee doctor were congratulating me. The doctor said it was unlikely to be a false positive but to make sure I should get my bloods taken that day and three days later.The guy who took my bloods asked me if I had picked out names. I got a phonecall 6 hours after the second bloodtest to confirm that I had misscarried and was no longer pregnant- devestating.For 4 days I had thought I was pregnant and my baby was already gone.
I think that loss will always be with us but we will learn to cope with it. I am not religious but I now firmly believe that my baby had a soul(for want of a better word) and is happy somewhere. Be kind to yourself this is not easy.
Don't forget that we are also very hormonal. On a very superficial point to add insult to injury I have put on about 5 pounds in the last week and am told this is normal after a ms.
I would not presume for a moment that you cannot have perfectly healthy babies after a mc,my doctor told me that most women have at least one in their lives and also that it is not our fault.I am a very healthy fit person and had a baby three years ago with no problems. So although it does feel like it is our faults -it is not.Life is just very cruel sometimes.
Take good care of yourself xxxxD