I just wanted to add some words of encouragement from an "older" mom.
I also had twins, and when they were very young, I felt exactly as you did—I adored my children, but I hated my day-to-day life. It was all about work, work, work, and mom, mom, mom. There was no more Maria. Occasionally, my husband would say, "You're no fun anymore." And I would think, "D*mn straight!" I wasn't any fun, because my life was 100% about caring for other people—people that I loved, mind you, but still other people, never about me. We all need time to ourselves, and our modern society, with two working parents (or in some of y'all's cases, one working parent, which is you), doesn't allow for this.
Unfortunately, most of us can't change our current situations, regardless of how we came to be in that situation, so all we can do is grin and bear it. Now here's the encouraging part: when my kids were young, even when I felt like crying or screaming, I just kept on smiling. I pretended to be happy and showed those little girls constant love and attention, even when I was so-o-o not feeling it, because, as someone else mentioned, they didn't ask to be born, and they deserved my best.
After 7 or 8 years of giving til it hurt, something wonderful happened—my babies turned into confident, secure, independent little ladies. And I think it's because they never doubted their own worth and lovability due to the way I treated them. Now they are 13 years old, and they are my favorite people in the whole world. Yeah, I'm still their mom, and they still need a lot from me, but we're also friends, and there is give and take. We shop together and watch movies together and bake cookies together, and sometimes, they take care of me.
It still isn't easy; there's never enough time or money, but my kids are old enough and sensitive enough to understand, and try to help out where they can. Honestly, my children bring me only joy now. So to all of you struggling mom's of young children, I say, yes, it's a thankless, slave-like job, especially if you have little or no help, but if you can just hang in there, it does pay off in the end.
Last edited by MariaRomana-DTP/eBooks Ed; 12/30/10 07:38 PM.