This is a very emotional thread and one that is hard for people to admit to.
Women are saying things "out loud" that we are not even supposed to think, much less speak or write.
Although the questions that you asked, gullivera & cool_friend, might seem innocent and non-threatening to you (and they did to me also) - to someone who is already feeling guilty about writing these words it comes off as an accusation. Remember, we can't hear voice inflection or tone on the internet - so we make it up in our heads as we read a post.
I am sure what Melody3 heard was "well, why didn't you just get an abortion then?1?1"
And Cool_Friend, tacking "lol", "laugh out loud" onto the end of every post is hardly the way to make people feel like you are trying to be understanding and supportive on this thread. It feels more like you are making fun of situations. I imagine you are doing it thinking it takes the sting out of some of your comments, but unfortunately that is not the way it comes across.
If everyone would remember to just be compassionate on this thread it would help a lot. These women are not saying they hate their children. If they did they would have done something drastic long ago. They hate the job of being a mother. here really is a huge difference between the two.