u said " So now I'm stuck with kids I don't want and a man that I do not want " well u can not turn back time & undo it but u can definitely get out of this prison & start over leave everything behind that hold u back be it ur boyfriend , kids , faimly etc except urself. I can see in ur situation only u are suffering . why should u you keep carrying what u dont want ? Dont keep thinking & wishing only , u have to be bold enough to act . U dont need to keep paying alone for what u & ur husband both participated in . we only get one life & so dont waste it for every body else . . there is nothing in this world u can not get again Be it boyfriend , husband , kids , house may be in much better form. There is nothing more important in this world than ur freedom & longing for freedom is not selfish .