SickSophie,
Just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you, and that I think you're a very good person and fully agree that your "feelings" don't warrant you to be a bad person. It's how you handle and respond to those feelings that count, and you're responding to them with strength and love for your child. The moms you know who are so happy... I wonder what kind of moms they'd be if they "didn't" enjoy being a mom. Would they have your strength to be a good mom anyway?

Some of the moms have posted that when their children grow up a little, start talking, etc., that things get more fun. Life can be quite wondrous and magical through the eyes of a child. I think the love you feel for your child will only grow, and that that love will continue to give you an increasing interest in your child, in what's important to him, and in being a mom. You may finding yourself taking joy in what "he" takes joy in. Seeing him happy can make "you" happy.

Try to see things from a different perspective and do think of all you're grateful for. Your situation could be much, much worse. Do what you can to take care of yourself, organize yourself and your baby, consider creating daily routines to help you feel more in control and on top of things, maybe read some parenting books/mag for ideas that might seem fun to you, and keep the hope that things will get better. Also, I don't think it would hurt to read through some threads of happy mothers. Perhaps reading their view on things might help you to see things in another light. All you can do is make the best of your situation. I think you're a strong person, and I wish you the best of luck. smile

Last edited by DifferentKindofGirl; 10/17/09 05:19 PM.