I feel for everyone, and want you to know that you are loved, prayed for, and thought well of by ME!! I'm rooting for each of you, no matter your path, experience, or decision. With that said, I want to share advice, with the caveat that its based on my experience as a CF: 1) Make sure you make you feel special. Even if you only get a second to do so. I've learned to meditate to traffic. Brush my teeth by candlelight. A monthly massage at the cheapest place in town (started off being once every few years.. so whenever you can get it, thats all that counts). 2) Don't feel guilty, validate your feelings and stick up for yourself. Its not the place of anyone to judge you, we have never walked in your shoes. When bad things happen to you, don't take them as a reflection of you. But do try to deal with yourself, and then look for good things to restore your hope. 3) Let yourself give up. As often as you need to. I've been committed to some things for close to a decade, only because I let myself 'mentally' quit as often as I need to. No one ever knows about it... but being able to say 'I hate doing so and so, or I hate that this person thinks that I'm XYZ just because of BCD' helps me not resent every person for not validating it. I guess I finally learned its my job to extend grace to me when no one else can. Its the only way I can breathe and live when life gets tough. 4) Don't give up on yourself. Its not over yet. Thanks for being you.