I have found very interesting and sad to read so many messages from women who feel liberated being single because they were in such terrible marriages.
I was 33 years old when I met my husband, and except for some occasional very short-lived stories, I was always single. I am only 38 now, so I still can say, I was single for most of my life. I had no problem spending time alone. I have lived with roommates, I never had problems with my them, they are still friends, but the 4 years previous to meeting my husband I lived alone and I loved it. I loved the cosiness of coming back home to my very own home, finding everything where I left it, eating always my favorite meals, the freedom to live the apartment in the middle of the day because a friend would like to drink a coffee somewhere... And if I left the kitchen in a mess I didn't have to justify myself in front of anybody!!
Of course I missed something sometimes (especially Saturday nights). I traveled alone a lot and had fun and met people who are now in my facebook :-)) but it is nice to share what you see. Not to mention, backpacking and sightseeing were fine for me but beach holidays alone... no way. As for sex, I have done one night stands, but it is not really something to look forward to or be proud of... On the other hand, I didn't need 24/7 company as so many people do and I did not want to have children at all, so I used to say that I wanted to have a man just for sex and traveling, it is an exaggeration, of course, I must admit I like to provoke with my statements :-)). Anyway, with the years you are so used to living alone that you cannot imagine sharing your life.
When I met my husband, it was love at first sight for him, but not for me. I was too cynical. I fell in love eventually, had a two year long distance relationship (2 hours flight every second weekend)with short periods together, and only when I was 100% sure that we complemented each other pretty good and that my life would be better, we moved in together and got married almost 3 years ago. I love him more than ever, we respect each other we are very different, he is the sensible one who wants to have it all figured out, I am the crazy unconventional type: our differences have caused fascination about each other but also arguments and conflict in our relationship, but we managed to talk everything out and work it through. And we trust each other and we are best friends.
What I mean to say, I thank all the years alone, that gave me the time, distance and strength to know myself better, my needs and what makes me happy. I don't want to know what my life would have been like if I had ended up with some of the guys I used to like when I was 18 or 21 years old!
