inod10, welcome to the forum, I also suffer from depression, some time i find it so frustrating when people say i should do this or i should do that . I know they mean well. But people suffer from different levels of depression. Every one gets depressed now and then. I am bipolar and my depression can last any where from 3 to 6 months at a time!
At times i fell like I've been depressed for ever.
I wish i could get out of my house, i wish i do do "normal" things.
I am on medication and have been on many different ones since 1974.
I can relate to many of the things you are saying.
Are you in counseling, its important to have some one to talk to.
I wish you muck luck in getting help for your depression. Coming here and sharing your problem is a start. every one here is nice and no one judges anyone.

Rosie L