I agree so much with the original thread starter. I am balling as I read through all these comments because it hits so close to home. I absolutely hate being a mom. I always thought it would grow on me and I would enjoy it but it only has gotten worse. I never wanted children but it happened, and I had my first. I loved, loved, loved being pregnant. I had awesome pregnancies (yes multiple) but when they hit 18 months, I am done. I thought with having more, I would change...that was wrong. I have three and had my husband get fixed because I knew that this was not a temporary feeling. I have felt all the same things that Jenny has felt and I feel guilty, but that is me. I dream of running away and leaving my family but I am scared to do that. I plan on my escape every day: where I would go, how I would leave, cover all my traces, I know I would leave the US. My children are a hinderence and I regret every minute of them. I used to travel all the time, have freedom, money, and an identity....now all I have is well NOTHING. I go from "babysitting" employees all day to coming home to this [censored]. It sucks. I have no time for myself. the boys fight NON STOP. I don't want to do this anymore. I too, have thought the unthinkable like suicide eventhough it is the the selfish thing to do. But what else is there. I really do want to run away. I envy those who can. I am so jealous or disgusted with those moms who enjoy just that. I play the lottery for about a dollar a week when I remember so I can win and hire a nanny for the kids so I can leave. This is not what I signed up for. I hate every minute of this. I think I am verbally abusive to the kids, actually I know I am. When I am at my witts end because no one can seem to get a long for two minutes, I tell them that I never wanted children, etc. I usually tell the passerbys that I should have stopped at zero. I feel like I have to put on such a front in front of family to come across as the perfect mom and I receive tons of compliments, and I just think to myself...what a joke. My life sucks, I hate this more than anything. I am relieved to hear that I am not the only one and that I am not a lone, becuase this is hard to admit because so many feel that they need to judge. My thoughts are so scrambled. I constantly search airfares around the world and think about where I am going to go so that I will not be found. I don't want to go on meds, but what can I do.....I HATE MY LIFE, I do not want to do this anymore.
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