The older they get, the more freedom you have. My son will be heading to college full-time in the fall, and I'm kind of mourning the loss already! He's a neat kid, fun, funny, interesting... but every child and family is different.

FWIW, I didn't go through IVF, but had fertility issues, and ds is a pergonal baby. I know some who went through IVF, and that is not a guarantee of a pregnancy or baby. One woman I know tried three times, and didn't conceive. Another conceived and lost the pregnancy -- later adopted a 16 mo Russian girl.

I would suggest you examine deeply if you want a child to have a child to love and raise, or a child because it is the "done thing." Children should be raised with love and joy, not just duty and obligation.