LokiRav13, I'm totally with you. I might have posted a more positive message earlier, but I don't think my feeling changes, I just tried, or forced myself to feel better and live one day at a time. Otherwise I will be depressed every minute I live. This is hard and harder that we have no way out but to live with this mistake.
I also feel sorry for myself and my hubby about losing "us" in this kid world. Before the baby, we have each other, we love and care for each other, we both love traveling and exploring the world. But now, we feel old, indifferent and just bored.
Seriously, people said they feel bored so they have a baby and their world is filled with joy. Good for you. But for me, reading the same story 10 times a day is boring, potty training is boring, going to the playground every weekend is boring, struggling to brush her teeth every night is boring and painful.
I still think the best solution for us is to find another couple who can raise our daugther, while we can still support her either financially, or even babysit her once in a while. Or I got striken by lightening so I all of a sudden feel the joy of being a mom. Otherwise, I will never get out of this big hole I dug for myself.
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