Yes we did move ALOT! When I say "desperate" I mean desperate for help. In Illinois, at least the area that we lived in when my son was diagnosed offers nothing. I had three mediations and a due process all in an attempt to get speech therapy, an aide etc.... the excuse for not giving my son what he needed was "If we give it to your son, we'll have to give it to everyone that comes behind him." I just wanted someone to believe in him enough to help him learn and grow. We moved a few times in Illinois due to school districts, and safety. Ultimately leaving the state because things were getting harder and harder for him and the system was not working. We moved to Wisconsin where he did receive aba for a couple of years and ultimately came to Iowa where things are going well so far.
My 11 year old is doing good. He is in 5th grade and has no special education services. His diagnosis came only2 years ago when I noticed how difficult social situations were for him and some other things just felt wrong to me, so I looked into aspergers, some things fit, so I made an appointment to get him evalutated and he was diagnosed almost immmediately. Things like handwriting, imagination, friendship, the typical social graces most of us just come by naturally, he just missees. If he is standing in line and someone bumps into him, he takes it personally even though it was clearly an accident. I could go on forever with all the things that seem minute on a one by one basis, but when all put together are very very difficult.
I feel bad for him because most people think he is just being a brat, because he is very bright, everyone thinks he should know better and he really doesn't. I am amazed at some of the things that upset him, like he won't touch coin money, flips out when he touches something sticky, obsessively collects things. I suppose when I look at my younger son and all of his problems it makes my older sons problems seem not so bad in comparison, but still he struggles and his growth and development need to be cared for too.
I also grew up with a sister with special needs. Growing up my parents forced me to take care of her alot, take her places, hang out with her, basically they babied her and expected all of us to do the same, and it kind of came expected of me that I would care for her, and take care of her. My parents weren't holding any "Parent of the Year" awards and I guess as I grew up, I became more resentful of how my family expected so much of me in regard to the care of my sister, when I was just a child. The thing is, my sister is able to care for herself, the only thing she really can't do is drive. I am quite confident that she could do that too with enough practice. She is the product of learned helplessness. Maybe I just want to make sure that I explore all options for my son, I also dread the thought of my older son feeling about his little brother as I did about my sister ya know? Sorrrryyyyy I talk way to much.
Bonnie, you mentioned your son attends feeding therapy, could you explain? My 8 year old eats only a handful of things, and I have often wondered if feeding therapy is something I should look at. Thanks!!