Here you go, Dim Sim recipe:

1 pkt won ton wrappers, whatever they are.
600 gm finely minced pork or any chunky meat (not tropical fish, too bitter).
100 gm bamboo shoots finely chopped (watch those fingers)
1 x spring onion finely chopped
2 x tablespoons finely chopped fresh coriander
2 tbl light soy sauce
vegetable oil or any old fat for deep frying

Cover the wrappers (what are they???) with a cloth until needed. In a food processor grind pork until smooth, or do it by hand if you're really angry. Add bamboo shoots spring onion and coriander and work to a smooth paste using hands, not feet or face. Don't forget to wash your hands first, especially if you've been stroking the dog. To form the dumplings place a rounded tablespoon of the filling in the centre of a wrapper (no, I don't know either) and press the edges of the wrapper up around the filling to almost enclose it.
Fry the dim sims several at a time until the pastry is golden brown - about 2 minutes should do it. No burning now.
Remove and drain on absorbent paper or loo roll if you're a bit stingy. Serve the dim sims hot with small dishes of soy sauce, or ketchup, or gravy for dipping. I dip mine in wine, but I'm quite sophisticated so you may not be able to do this.

Makes 20 to 24. Great if you've got lots of friends like me. I mean, not lots of friends 'like' me, great looking blokes with beards, but...oh you know what I mean so stop pretending you don't.

*insert some more stuff here about making the thingies.

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