I understand that you want your husband to be your best friend and confidant; but it sounds like this man is already so much more with you than he is with the rest of the world- you may have to give him more time to evolve into that role. Or he may never become that role for you.

I know that is not what you wanted to hear. But it sounds like he has made amazing changes by being with you, and that he is a different person with you than with anyone else. He may not, at this time, be able to grow anymore. You can try counseling. Or a really good book that I have recommended to other people is "The Five Love Languages". It is based on the fact that everyone feels and demonstrates love in one of 5 major ways: touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service. And often a husband and wife don't "speak" the same "love language" so misunderstand when the other is doing/saying "I love you."

For example: a husband's love language is acts of service- so he fixes his wife's broken dishwasher without her having to ask him. The wife just sees this as a normal chore because her love language is gifts and she thinks he ought to get her flowers every once in a while. (That's a real basic example.) But it is an excellent book.

But the other thing is, putting so much responsibility on your spouses shoulder is a big burden. You also need 1 or 2 really good friends to share things with as well. Because who are you going to talk to when you're mad at him?

Good luck with things! <img src="/images/graemlins/lovers.gif" alt="" />


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor