Sorry I've taken so long to reply! You're dead on about me wanting a career in music. Eventually I want to get back to college and finish my degree and either teach HS choir or do seminary and music ministry - but I feel strongly pulled towards children. I'm in the middle of writing a song (kinda stuck), I've written the script for one children's musical which I've sent off, and I'm working on a couple of articles about depression as a Christian.
Unfortunately those don't pay the immediate bills. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
But, anyway, I was also going to say; when I first posted this thread AND when I responded to Dr. Keith I was (am) recovering from a hysterectomy and am taking pain meds.
Even though I already knew I could not half any more children, it was like a real "emptiness" to know that now not only "should" I not have any more kids (or face kidney failure), but there's nothing in my body that's even capable of having kids. I feel sort of diminished in a way. My husband always teases that our cats are technically "its" because they've been spayed, so now I feel like an "it". (Trust me, he's done backflips trying to explain the difference between the two to me) <img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
So I was already feeling down, then I took pain meds, and like I said on another thread somewhere; my brain's "governor" was down (that little part that goes "maybe you shouldn't say that...") And I lambasted a perfect stranger (although part of me still thinks he deserved some of it!)
SO anyway, hopefully I'm a little more sane now <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue2.gif" alt="" /> and I'll try not to post anything after I've taken Demerol anymore! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />