Michelle, I find that many people are unable to look outside their own worldview, usually because they feel threatened. Especially moms -- it's always a difficult choice to "work outside the home" or be a "stay-at-home mom". I did both and the pros and cons are there for both choices. I do believe it's a contributing factor in the work-at-home trend, which even men are doing now!
As to your depression being worse because you don't work--well, many people are depressed at work! So, working at home is maybe your answer. You are intelligent and have a lot to offer, so you would have many options. And, you could still be available for your kids.
From personal experience, I do know that meaninful activity does help with depression, but it's hard to get started when you are depressed!
I'm sure you have some personal dream for yourself, and I'd guess it might be in music, so start very small with that. Like just 30 minutes a day. For example, you could use if to supplement your therapy and keep track of your results and write a book about it and make a gillion dollars! LOL--seriously, music is great therapy! And, when you tell others that you are working on ground-breaking research in musical therapy for depressive disorders, well, that's quite lofty and those raised eyebrows will be awed, not condescending.
I'm only being a little tongue-in-cheek here--I do believe you can use any interest or dream you have to light your inner fire. And, I believe that having the opportunity to work at home on your dreams while raising your children is lucky and a double blessing.