Na, he's a jerk. I know that.
This has taken its toll on me; without telling you the whole really long story it's hard to explain but it's dragged on for over a week now and been sort of a nasty breakup, still having a bit of trouble eating and sleeping. Definitely feeling better now than at first though.
But it's still damn hard. And I keep thinking I miss him and still love him, but that feels false because I know what I miss is what I thought we had, and what I love is what I thought he was, so I guess I really don't miss or love him at all.