Hi, don't ever worry about venting on this forum. I think that's why we're all here...for screaming without actually making noise. I live i west Texas, and I teach school all day. I work because I have to, not necessarily by choice. If I don't work, my kids don't eat, trust me. Would you consider hiring a babysitter? Are you in a situation to afford it? A good place to find someone is by posting an ad in the bulletin board at your college or university's medical or science college. A kid about 19 or 20 years old understands about Autism, yet is poor enough to settle for a few dollars an hour. I recently started paying a 20 year old girl to stay with my son. It's not as easy as it sounds, because she basically watches him sleep. I don't trust anyone to handle him awake. She comes in at about 9 pm. and stays until 12. That gives me time to watch a movie or go get something to eat or get a beer somewhere. Once I just sat in a parking lot and cried. I have to work around her schedule (exams, dates, etc), but she's been able to come in a few times. Also, I gave her VERY specific instructions on what to do in case my son should wake up and start up.
If you can hire someone, I suggest you look for someone from the university. If you hire a medical or science related student, you can mention that caring for an autistic child looks great on their resume. This is how I got my babysitter to do this! I never go very far from home, and I never ride with anyone else for fear that I'll get that dreaded phone call and not have a way of getting home.
Try this if you can. Have your hubby charge more for his lessons so that you won't lose your sanity. It is absolutely not fair that you're cleaning up while he gets to see a different environment, talk to people, and exercise.
If we lived nearby...trust me, we'd swap.