Hi there and welcome to the forum. Thanks for taking the plunge and making your first post. What does DDSO stand for? Is Taconic the area of Upstate NY you are located in?
I like how you described hi-end poor and I agree about those getting more services who have abled kids.
I learned of a backpack giveaway in my own area on the news. All the kids were getting backpacks and school supplies. Here in CA we have Regional Centers and I told the worker last week that Matthew needs new shoes and she said we can try to get something from the Help Fund.
So instead I get in the mail from her a printout from a website called Operation School Bell. A teacher or rep from a school brings kids to get clothing and backpacks. Like I am going to go to the school and say can someone take the class so my kid can get some things? This lady even had the gall to make a comment about my curtains while in my house - yeah I will go buy some now and let my kid go without shoes! She even said something about I can't do this forever (being a home health care worker) - I presume since that is my job through IHSS, so she says I should go out and get a job, put kids in after school care and eventually put Matthew in a residenital facility.
Those working with families have no clue. How does the child support laws work when they are older, since your son is 20, does the money go to you for him or to him directly since he is over 18 - or does that change once he is 21?
What kind of program is your 20 year old in? Is he still in high school until 21? Is there an ARC in your area?