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#504826 - 03/24/09 02:54 AM Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline

BellaOnline Editor
Zebra

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 3944
Loc: IL
I recently spoke to a dear friend of mine who has a situation that I'm fairly certain, especially in this forum, many of us can relate to, "close knit family vibes."

I thought anyone who has tackled such an issue may be able to offer some helpful advice.

What do you do when, someone in the family brings home an acquaintance, you've personally sorted through every possible physical, mental and spiritual issue of your own, but still come up with, "Boy, does this person have some bad vibes"?

In this particular case, the daughter has a male friend that the mother who is very intuned with her sensitivities has a reaction to each and every time the person comes to the house. He sends spine-chilling sensations, even physical nausea when he enters the home. He hasn't done or said anything rude, but she can't shake the vibes.

I have a daughter myself, and I can attest, the more you say something negative about someone or something they feel is on the up and up, the more they almost feel compelled to defend it.

I'm thinking speak with the daughter, gently about what is being sensed or give an example she could relate to, like, "Remember when I felt...I couldn't put my finger on what it was?" or even ask, "You know how sometimes you just sense a storm is coming, but there isn't a cloud in the sky?" and go from there. I think a lot will depend on how receptive the daughter is. But I think waiting, when something is that strong could have you wishing you had said something.

I know it is one of the main issues I deal with when speaking with people who have psychic abilities, sensing things about their loved ones.

I'm personaly dealing with a similar situation with my husban'ds mom. I will feel and get pictures - flashes of things pertaining to her three months away and will be able to pin it down to when and where it's going to happen, down to a couple of days. It's very disturbing and causes strain as I try to keep physical distance to curb the feelings. Sadly, it's not working. I still get the information anyway.

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#505063 - 03/25/09 01:45 AM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
anamcara Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 130
Loc: Pennsylvania
Well Elleise my family bad vibes come from several members. One is my daughter who has gone to the bad side, that's the only way I can describe it. Her energy is very chaotic and I am not sure what the heck happened to her, but like I said her energy is very chaotic and when she speaks she doesn't make sense, but she does. It is hard to explain, she says things about me, but means other's (her father), it kind of makes me laugh but for the most part I don't allow her in my home anymore because her energy is so chaotic and negative.

And then there is my sister-in-law who is a highly negative person and I get physically sick when I enter her home, I cannot stay too long. My parents are moving into her home, not only is her home a wreck (she never ever cleans her home), but you can see that in how she is on a personal level. When she smiles I see this "thing" behind that smile, and it's not a nice "thing", I can't explain it any better than that because there is no form to it.

I could be more sensitive to negativety because my sense's are just heightened in general right now. Even sound can be irritating to me, I find my self lowering the volume on the t.v. or radio frequently.


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#505186 - 03/25/09 04:15 PM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: anamcara]
Jane - Native American Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 2100
Loc: Southeast Georgia
My daughter went through a period consumed with chaotic negativity. It hit in her late teens and lasted until we made her move out. Preceding the intervention, she had a lot to deal with. A pathetic high school, multiple deaths in the family, including her God Father's suicide, working at an extremely stressful call center where cocaine was passed around like donuts and bi-polar kicking in on top of everything else. At one point she slit her wrists.

Once we got her out of the area and clean, I was able to start working with her on the negativity. The gifts and talents of my Mother's family are unfortunately accompanied with some mental issues. My daughter's birth father is a very negative and self centered person as well. I'm pretty much convinced some is genetically inherited. But I'm equally convinced, you can learn another way to live if you want it, work at it and have positive support.

With my daughter's stubbornness (another family trait), she literally had to hit rock bottom before realizing the problems were hers. Only then was she open to learning a new mindset and how to control the negativity. I'm thrilled to report she is very much on her way. One element in her recovery was reconnecting with her Native American heritage.

I know, at some point, parents must at least act as if they have given up on their children. As with my daughter, separation may be necessary for the child to realize the repurcussions of their behavior and what it has cost them. But I never gave up in my heart, although both my sisters did. The loss is truly theirs, as she is beating the addiction, realizing her worth, planning for her future and turning into the remarkable woman I new she could be. We have daily "positive" pep talks and it's wonderful to know she is now listening, learning and getting stronger.

My Mother's sister must be similar to your sister-in-law. The family "joke" is she's possessed. I'm not exaggerating and it's not a joke. Sadly, she is the only sibling able to live with my Grandmother, who will be 95 in May. While visiting, we have intentionally made it so uncomfortable for my aunt that she now leaves the room. This works out great, we get to visit with Grandmother and don't have to deal with her. We collectively let her know, she will not impede us from seeing Grandmother. My aunt is so bad, she has been banned from one hospital and removed by security at another.

My Mother will attest her sister has been an evil person since childhood. We deal with her when we have to and ignore her when we can. The only problem is my aunt's negativity has rubbed off a bit on my Grandmother. We point this out whenever she says something uncharacteristic.

Be on the look-out for this transfer of negativity to your parents. If it manifests, do not be afraid to point it out. You have to verse it so that it's not a direct "attack" on your sister-in-law. My Mother uses this phrase. "Momma! I have never heard you say anything like that before." This seems to gently shake Grandmother out from the negativity, and bring her back to herself. My Mother is pointing out the inconsistent behavior, but intentionally NOT stating the source or blame.

I hope some of this helps. You'll be on a tight rope in this situation. You have to think before every move of the tongue. Don't get discouraged and strive to maintain the relationship with your parents and bring as much positivity to them as you can. It may be necessary to take your parents out in order to visit with them. We can't do this with my Grandmother. But it's exactly what we do with my Mother-in-law, whose boyfriend is an obnoxious drunk. We meet them in Daytona, leave him at the condo, and do something fun with her.

From someone who has been there, done that, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I have also been experiencing a heightened sensitivity and heaviness in my shoulders. Before May 2000, this preceded terror attacks and plane crashes. Eleise has posted on this too. Uncertainty, fear, and concern are so prevalent in our country now. This may be part of it. That, combined with family issues, could certainly increase our sensitivity.
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#505686 - 03/26/09 09:29 PM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: Jane - Native American]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline

BellaOnline Editor
Zebra

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 3944
Loc: IL
Thanks icp!

Feeling and seeing or just trying to come to terms with how much we can influence the lives of those, namely our children, at some point does cause us to wonder how much we can or should intervene. It's always easier or better when they come to us, but there are times when you really feel the need to act on your feelings as gracefully as possible, without stepping on toes. It absolutely is a fine line!

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#506197 - 03/28/09 12:22 AM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: Jane - Native American]
anamcara Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 130
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hi lcp,

Thank you for your post about all this, I too feel my daughter is going to have to hit rock bottom before she will finally "get it", she also tried to slit her wrists last August, however, I stepped in and hospitalized her (she was with her father at the time it happened). Now I am not sure that I should have stepped in, she was arrested for shoplifiting a mnont ago(I just found out).

As for my parents, my sister is also extremely negative as is my mother, my sister had been living with my parents but could no longer afford the mortgage, my father has PD and is in a nursing home (he is safe!), but everyone wants him home, so it was decided they would move out of their home (too big), into my brother's, (my sister in law was adamant that they move in with them), my OTHER sister is now buying my parents home, but has had one problem after another (sold their house but now owe the bank more than they sold the house for). The whole scenario is disturbing and chaotic.

If I could get my daughter away from the area that would be great, but she is so intertwined with her father it is not possible now, do you know what I mean? She is also an adult now, and I have little to no say unless she is hurting herself or her younger sister.

So, I think like your daughter, that with my daughter's stubborness she too will have to hit rock bottom (maybe a couple times) before she is willing to straighten out. Right now, I know I cannot handle the chaos, not in my home.

Like you, I have not given up on my daughter in my heart, but I do have to give up on her and let her learn her own lessons and I have a feeling she may have many.

Anna







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#506227 - 03/28/09 02:18 AM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline

BellaOnline Editor
Zebra

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 3944
Loc: IL
I have to vent, just got the call from hubby -

O.k. - when I posted earlier about a situation with family vibes and having to do w/my husband's mom. Understand we DON'T talk, hardly at all, litterally. Not even phone calls, but sometimes if there's a family gathering, but even then I'm silently puting dishes away.

I had been up in arms over the past few weeks. Ever since we were out in CA. I told my husband, "watch your words they willl be important, especially with your mother." I told him she would quit her job as soon as she knew he was in the area. She has been working there for about a year or so. Not too long, not too short. She called him today and told him she quit. And, will be having trouble w/the house payments. So, we're in the area.........

We can't stay in the area - it's TOO close. I don't know this person at all, I haven't had the time to. We've been on the road for the past year and 1/2, but since we've been getting closer, the vibes have gotten worse. I got this one half way across the country! ARG mad

At least, though, my husband called with an affirmation and was happy he knew ahead of time to prepare. As for me - I'm still thinking, lol.

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Clairvoyance Editor
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Edited by Eleise - Clairvoyance (03/28/09 02:42 AM)
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#509976 - 04/07/09 06:49 PM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: Elleise - Clairvoyance]
luvmycat07 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 26
Has your friend done any research on this guy? Maybe check public records, call Sheriff's department. Try to learn more about his background, finances and previous acquaintances & girlfriends. This is what I would do.

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#512765 - 04/14/09 10:22 PM Re: Dealing with a Family Member's Bad Vibes [Re: luvmycat07]
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline

BellaOnline Editor
Zebra

Registered: 04/13/05
Posts: 3944
Loc: IL
If I could, I would go that same route - checking police records and such. I don't know that I would tell my daughter I was doing it though. Somehow, it seems that would come back around and slap you in the face and she may inately feel as though she needs to defend him or worse that her privacy has been invaded. It could go either way but when a feeling that strong comes through, you can just tell. With me, I'll begin pacing, have a shortness of breath and if the person meets me face to face there is this lockhold of eye contact - it's as if they know I know. It's only happened a few times in my life but man I'll never forget them!!!

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