BellaOnline Forums Family Special Needs Children Is the term 'special needs' offensive?

How important is "people first language" when you are talking with other parents, teachers or doctors?

Do you consider the term 'special needs' offensive, and if so, is it even when the phrase is 'children with special needs' instead of 'special needs children'?

The Case Against Using the Phrase 'Special Needs' PDF http://ftp.disabilityisnatural.com/documents/SpNeed.pdf

How do you refer to your son or daughter when you meet someone new?

I have changed the way I speak and write since my son was a baby, but I still have a far way to go.

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Disability is Natural
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art59148.asp

Thanks for the insight. I am constantly trying to learn the correct way to address situations directed to those with special needs as well as their families. The last thing I would ever wish to do is to speak offensively. However, I do find it difficult at times as I do not directly speak in this particular arena on a daily basis.

Please continue to keep us informed on how we can improve our approach.

Thanks

Funny, I never thought much about this until my son's integrated preschool sent home an article in their monthly bulletin that was all about talking with others when you have a SN child. The first thing it said was that there was no reason to tell someone unless they had a NEED to know... and suddenly, a lot of my problems were solved. It further went on to say that diagnosis was not something anyone needed to know and that when talking about your child, you should limit it to the particular deficit that you or they are currently dealing with when it comes to your child.

I've found that since I followed these rules, conversations are MUCH easier. People want to dig for dirt and diagnoses for countless reasons and I find myself toying with them--withholding that info and looking at them like they're crazy, saying "What? He just has a little confusion about X..."

The term "special needs" doesn't bother me in any way, shape or form. What bothers me is when I point out to a parent of a gifted child that their child's needs are addressed by the special education dept., too (in fact, SpEd teachers can get a certification in gifted teaching). Special Ed/Special Needs seems to carry a connotation of disability vs. an accommodation that needs to be made (which is the education law's view of it).

If not "special needs", I'm not sure what they'd call it. I'd rather that than "learning disabled". He's not disabled. He needs accommodations to function in a classroom that requires everyone to be the same.

How do you refer to your son or daughter when you meet someone new?

I simply say, "This is my daughter, Lydia", as I prefer to let people get to know who she is before they make assumptions about her based on a label.

Sometimes, people will approach while we are out, well meaning generally, and ask, "she's a Down syndrome kid isn't she?, to which I politely reply, "not exactly, she is a bright and beautiful little girl who happens to have Down syndrome"

I am never rude, nor do I take offense when people refer to her as a "Downs kid", but I do gently remind them that her diagnosis is not who she is, just a condition she was born with.