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#364720 - 01/08/08 11:53 PM My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
shakabra Offline
Newbie
shakabra  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
My wife has Dissociative Identity Disorder..she has an alter named "DD" and has created an online relationship with another man online only and she tells me everything...Nothing is hidden about what she does as an alter. "DD" has created with this man a marriage and baby online, created her own online family...Now my wife "DD" ask if she can communicate with him by phone and maybe some day meet him. "DD" says she knows can't do anything in reality because married in real life. She always lets me know and ask's for permission before doing anything. Nothing behind my back. My question is should I say it's ok with me to let "DD" communicate with this man by phone ?? and meet someday?? should I be tending to "DD" in every way ???

#364724 - 01/09/08 12:07 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: shakabra]  
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 709
Angela P Offline
Gecko
Angela P  Offline
Gecko

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 709
Dallas, TX
Um, NO. Your wife doesn't have a disorder. She's making whacked-out excuses (like "I tell you everything so there's nothing going on behind your back") for having a relationship. Even when there is no phone or physical relationship, people can have affairs of the heart, which is what is going on.

Your wife, frankly, needs to get her act straight, stop making excuses like having the flavor-of-the-month disorder, and either nuture a full relationship with you devoid of other fantasies or get the hell out.

Jeez..."DD"...that's a new one. Whenever I want to gloss over a poor behavior, I'm going to use that one:

"No officer, it wasn't me speeding. It was 'DD.' I have a disorder, you see, and it's not really me doing it."

"Hey honey, now that you understand about 'DD,' it's okay to screw another man, right? I mean, it's not really me of course, and...you can watch! That way, there's nothing going on behind your back."

I think people can have disorders, but my grip on reality and games women pull keeps me planted in skepticism. Especially with this wild card.

Last edited by Angela P; 01/09/08 12:16 AM.
#364727 - 01/09/08 12:12 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: Angela P]  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
shakabra Offline
Newbie
shakabra  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
She's been diagnoised with DID...

#364728 - 01/09/08 12:18 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: shakabra]  
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 709
Angela P Offline
Gecko
Angela P  Offline
Gecko

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 709
Dallas, TX
Get a second opinion, especially if her doc is a woman.

I hate the fact that just because both children and adults begin and continue disgusting (especially family- or marriage-wrecking) behaviors that someone, somewhere comes up with a disorder for them. mad

Last edited by Angela P; 01/09/08 12:19 AM.
#364729 - 01/09/08 12:21 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: shakabra]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 371
Skeeter Offline
Shark
Skeeter  Offline
Shark

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 371
Idaho, USA
It needs to stop. Those with DID, only really have one option of cure. With enough counseling and help the two seperate personalities will fuse back into one singular personality (like a normal person would be). The problem lies in that even if she is cured, all of a sudden she is joined with a personality that has been cheating on you (affair of the heart...I like that..I think it fits well). Call it your wife, call it DD, call it whatever you want, it's still her being unfaithfull to you.

I will give you credit for being nicer than me, I would have ended the relationship over this. But if you are going to stick it out, then the online relationship has to stop.

Skeeter


"Militi Succurimus".."We hasten aid to the soldier"
#364730 - 01/09/08 12:23 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: Skeeter]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 371
Skeeter Offline
Shark
Skeeter  Offline
Shark

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 371
Idaho, USA
On top of what I just wrote, DID is a very subjective disease, with most Docs not willing to aknowledge it's existance, being that they claim it's simply used as an excuse.


"Militi Succurimus".."We hasten aid to the soldier"
#366571 - 01/15/08 12:36 PM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: Skeeter]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 105
Anita Aileen Offline
Jellyfish
Anita Aileen  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 105
Texas, USA
DID is subjective; however there are interview tests to determine whether a person is likely to have DID, and they have been extensively studied in populations (not just individuals) some of which had been diagnosed DID and some of which had not been. The tests are considered as valid as any other psychological tests.

DID can easily be used as an excuse, which is why so many people do not believe it exists. However, I would suggest not passing judgment on its existence until you have met someone whose DID was diagnosed by multiple sources and by multiple means (interview tests, observation). One clue I can give you is that most people with true DID try to hide the existence of their alters, unless they are actively in therapy for integration.

Therefore this situation definitely sounds faked. And even if she does have an alter, it is not an actual separate person, merely a part of herself for which she is still responsible. She needs serious help regardless.

I invite you to read the following article I wrote:
Timberlawn Trauma Program



#366873 - 01/16/08 05:07 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: Anita Aileen]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,112
Lisa_Orlando Offline
Parakeet
Lisa_Orlando  Offline
Parakeet

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,112
I used to work in mental health, alot of psychiatric providers feel that people who exhibit these symptoms are actuallay sophisticated borderline personality patients.

Either way, I think you need to find her another provider.

#367144 - 01/17/08 04:29 AM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: Lisa_Orlando]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 72
verynicebecky Offline
Amoeba
verynicebecky  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 72
Northern Nevada
Does this guy know that your wife is married? If so I don't know who is worse. Your wife using alter ego under DID or the guy who may know that your wife is married. Sounds like a soap opera with the online marriage and online kids....they both need help.


Freedom isn't free.
#371358 - 01/31/08 11:28 PM Re: My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder [Re: Lisa_Orlando]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 105
Anita Aileen Offline
Jellyfish
Anita Aileen  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 105
Texas, USA
My understanding is that borderline personality disorder is at one end of the spectrum of dissociation and DID is at the other end. Borderline patients often dissociate under stress; I believe this is one of the 9 criteria in the DSM (the patient needs 5 to have the diagnosis of borderline).



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