my son has just been diagnosed with sev ADHD and ODD and he is 4 yrs old and when he was a baby he had alot of developmental delay and he had sensory intergration and i remember having to do deep pressure therapy and joint compressions and all the brushing techniques and i am so glad he has grown out of it but he still has his anger outburs but the doc says its from the ODD but sometimes i feel like i am going to lose control cause he's not the only one i have to take care of i also have 16 month old twins and i get so frustrated and i dont know how to handle him sometimes do you think i might need to start all the deep pressure techniques again or not, you seem well educated in this field
It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed, as any mom can be, especially a mom of twin sixteen month olds, a mom of three children under the age of five, *or* the mom of a four year old with ODD/ADHD.
It is important that you talk to someone right there where you live, right away, and let them know that you are feeling overwhelmed and need some support and respite. Don't stop trying to find help. You have probably been putting your children first for so long, you may have not found time to relax and renew yourself, to get together with other moms so you know that none of us is really superhuman, and we all need and deserve good care ourselves.
I am not an expert or a medical professional who could give advice about your son's needs right now, and I urge you to contact your local school district, early intervention specialists, or private therapy providers. Links to helpful resources may be found in articles here at BellaOnline.com
There may be internet discussion groups for families of children with ODD who can give you support and also explain what works most of the time for some of their children.
You might also benefit from joining a group for families of twins, who may have similar challenges even though their twins' siblings may not be diagnosed with anything.
You are raising three wonderful children whose lives can only improve when you find the support and encouragement you deserve while they are growing up.
Something that I thought of often when my children were small was a remark made by a parent ed instructor when my daughter was just a baby. She said, "Remember, your children are not out to get you." She went on to explain that what they were doing is probably age appropriate, typical behavior, caused by their need to communicate through behavior because they don't have the communication skills or self control that older children and adults develop.
I laughed when she said it, because of course babies can't be 'out to get you,' but in the following months I understood exactly what she meant. It was comforting to know I was not being an insufficient mom and that my children were not 'out to get me,' for years afterward.
It can get pretty stessful raising children, any time of the day or night. Even when we know there are strategies and activities that can help us help our children, we can't always maintain a level of calm and self control that would be necessary for us to be 'perfect' moms. Fortunately, our children thrive when we are merely adequate and make occasional mistakes. It's important that we find support, encouragement, help and respite where we can, just to continue on in our quest for perfection - or that comfortble and life affirming level of adequacy that keeps the planet spinning.
I hope you find that some of the comforting exercises that worked well for your son in his early years will help him along right now, and you find other strategies or interventions that will show great benefits as he continues to grow.
SE of Seattle
Sensory Integration and Children with Special Needs
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