Does your child seem uncomfortable during everyday activities and misbehave or react strongly in certain situations? He or she may have sensory defensiveness, sensory integration difficulties, and/or tactile defensiveness.

When children develop or experience these sensitivities, they respond and communicate their discomfort in ways that may leave their families wondering what in the world is going on.

It can be especially difficult to identify and understand the difficulties of very young children who have brief episodes of neurological immaturity, and children of any age who have long term sensory defensiveness issues along with communication challenges. What would they say if they had the words?

Family members who are sensitive to children's discomfort may be criticized for 'spoiling' or 'coddling' children who do suffer from a serious condition with what may be a wide array of sensitivities. If you have a feeling that something extra is going on in your child's experience of the world, trust your instincts. There are ways to help, and children with these difficulties deserve all our best efforts.

Medical and educational professionals and support staff may be as unfamiliar with the accommodations and support that benefit our darling children with this condition as extended family, neighbors and friends. Be patient with them and provide information. Chances are you will be helping many more children who have similar needs for understanding and intervention.

If you have a child who has sensory discomfort issues, please share your stories, resources and/or experiences with other families. Your advocacy could save many children from torment and frustration.

Pam W
SE of Seattle

How Uncomfortable is Your Child?
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art960.asp

It took a long time to realize that one of Michael's symptoms of his Asperger's was a sensory overload - especially his hearing.

He could not take the sound of the vacuum cleaner and would go into hysterics whenever I tried to clean, whereas most babies are soother by the "white noise". He also hated the dryer, and the buzz at the end would cause a meltdown. But the thing that would cause the most problems in our house were when he used the restroom. When he flushed the toilet, he would have to run out of the bathroom 90 miles an hour with his hands over his ears.

I feel horrible looking back on this time, because since we didn't know what was going on, we teased him about this, thinking it would make him get over it. Hoping it would show him how "silly" he was being. Now that I know what the real problem is i look back at the teasing with a lot of shame ad guilt. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I still cut out the tags on all our clothing, and have always done mine. I cannot tolerate them as they itch my skin and irritate my eczema.

My son has a sensory diet written into his IEP. He gets breaks to do a lap in the classroom. The OT put some tap on a section of the floor and they add some books to his backpack and he wears it to do walks.

They also do laps in the morning around the playground, good for all kids. I told the teacher they should do it before circle time instead of afterwards.

Oh! Isn't that always the way!

But as Oprah often reminds us, when we learned better, we did better. Something like that!

And after all, shouldn't we be glad that we noticed and remarked on early symptoms, and used humor and a comfortable family acceptance of those idiosyncracies when our children communicated their differences before they were diagnosed?

What else would we have done? Thrown up our hands and said "Omigosh! No one else in the family has any little quirks, what is this kiddo doing?!?"

Every child does funny, odd, and often charming things that only add up to a diagnosis if they persist, or increase, or cause enough difficulty for the child, or cause great enough concern in parents or other adults.

Chances are, most people in our families have little quirks that only make them unique. Of course we don't want our children to suffer, but it might be better for them and us if our first response to unusual behavior displays humor rather than drama.

When my son was very young, he had a dentist who was very serious telling mothers the horrible effects of poor dental hygiene. I remembered his face, his tone, and his words every time I helped my son brush his teeth - already an ordeal.

One day I looked up and saw my expression in the mirror, what my son saw as I used the mirror to look at him. I looked angry, or at least worried.

From then on, I decided to smile during toothbrushing time. Of course my son responded immediately. He relaxed, and within a few weeks wanted to take a turn himself with the toothbrush.

For him, toothbrushing was an ordeal because his mom looked like Attila the Hun. I thought it was because of sensory defensiveness. I was extra patient, gentle and understanding because I thought he was suffering. Sometimes the simplest observations make all the difference. It's a good thing I looked into that mirror.

I know that words can't undo the mom guilt and shame we feel when we find out stuff we didn't know and want to go back and be perfect, or at least what we feel is adequate.

But we probably should let that go, because we will make more mistakes in the future, and that guilt shelf expands when greater capacity is needed. We might need to hold a yard sale and just clear up room on the shelf we have.

I may have built on an addition to store all that stuff, myself. When I read another mom's terrible confession, a dozen very similar memories come to the forefront from my guilt room. Suite. Wing.

Pam W
SE of Seattle

I love to hear about accommodations and supports that we introduce to our children's classrooms that also benefit their classmates.

The Disability Solutions Winter 2005 newsletter article [url=BellaOnline ALERT: For anti-spam reasons, we restrict the number of URLs allowed in a given post. You have exceeded our maximum number of URLs.

Dear Pam, Cathy Haarstad and others at Bella On Line:
I am writing to congratulate you on your fantastic article about Tactile Defensiveness. I have never taken the time to figure out how to post on line before because I am so swamped by emails. But how could I not take the time when your article was so useful to the parents I see in my Center? Tactile defensiveness falls into a larger area, which we at the KID Foundation call Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). I have been researching and treating children (and adults) with SPD for 30 years, and advocating for the inclusion of this diagnosis in the new DSM-V and the new ICD.

In all my years, this is one of the most informative articles I have ever seen, and I just wanted to send along a great "GOOD JOB" and "THANKS" to the authors.

Dr. Lucy Jane Miller
www.KIDFoundation.org

[color:"purple"] [/color]

[quote]Dear Pam, Cathy Haarstad and others at Bella On Line:
I am writing to congratulate you on your fantastic article about Tactile Defensiveness.

I have never taken the time to figure out how to post on line before because I am so swamped by emails. But how could I not take the time when your article was so useful to the parents I see in my Center?

Tactile defensiveness falls into a larger area, which we at the KID Foundation call Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). I have been researching and treating children (and adults) with SPD for 30 years, and advocating for the inclusion of this diagnosis in the new DSM-V and the new ICD.

In all my years, this is one of the most informative articles I have ever seen, and I just wanted to send along a great "GOOD JOB" and "THANKS" to the authors.

Dr. Lucy Jane Miller
[url=BellaOnline ALERT: For anti-spam reasons, we restrict the number of URLs allowed in a given post. You have exceeded our maximum number of URLs.

My son has a disorder called Angelman Syndrome and is severely mentally and physically affected. However, he has overcome his tactile defensiveness after many years of reacting very poorly (pulling back, avoiding, fearing) to hard or cold objects, including toys such as keyboards and noisy plastic toys, which he loves and I once had to wrap in fabric (!). From birth until about 3 years, life was difficult and he avoided all but the softest of textures. Feeding was also difficult because of texture.

I just wanted to offer encouragement to anyone with a young child with severe sensory challenges. I heard so little about this until my child was about five, and then I began to introduce stimuli in a limited quantity, a very quiet and relaxed environment. The response was great and I got to see my kiddo experience a new kind of joy.

<img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I was wondering if anyone has read the new book by Fernette and Brock Eide?

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Seasonal transitions, new clothes and schedules can be upsetting for children with special needs, especially those who have sensory issues, learning disabilities, or chronic health conditions.

Children are not alone in finding the Fall and Winter months uncomfortable and stressful. Planning places and times for respite and relaxation can benefit the whole family.

Remember to take time for yourself, and be a good role model for enjoying life and carrying on during difficult times by being kind and generous to yourself and your loved ones. There will be wonderful times as well as difficult days, and I hope you take the time to enjoy everything that gives you calm and peace as well as hilarity.

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Autumn and Winter Challenges for Children with Special Needs
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My hubby and I both have sensory issues. I've never grown out of mine...

My son has some sensory issues as well but none of them are having a negative impact on his life--I don't believe working with an OT is necessary. They're little "quirks" that we're perfectly fine dealing with...

It's important to know that gifted kids (and adults) often have sensory issues....

We had a wonderful group come in and talk to teachers about sensory overload. To demonstrate what sensory overload might feel like, they took each teacher individually into a small room, put a desk in the center, put a "teacher" in the front of the room, and then a dozen other people started talking, singing, and clanging things in very close proximity. Then the teacher had to try and focus on the "lesson" and answer questions. NONE of them could manage.

I read a book by A Jean Ayres called Sensory Integration and the Child after hearing a presentation from an S.I. trained therapist at my son's early intervention center.

She said that all children go through periods of sensory integration transitions, and of course many bright and talented children can have long lasting difficulties with motor planning, periods of vestibular disorientation, noise or tactile sensitivity.

Something as simple as swinging in old fashioned swings at the park can ease some discomfort caused by sensory issues, and some of the sensory integration therapy I've seen is very playful. One therapist told me that children with S.I. issues often crave activities they find in their OT sessions.

Thanks for speaking up for all children who have these issues!

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Gifted and Talented Children - Special Needs
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art33980.asp

Wow! That must have been a memorable event in the lives of those teachers. I wish I had some training like that when my children were small.

When my son was in second grade he was being pulled out of his mainstream classroom to get help with one subject in the 'resource room' but was not making any progress.

I happened to walk past that classroom while volunteering for the PTA and noticed that there were five small groups going on in the room, and my son sat frozen at his desk staring at a worksheet like a zombie.

I had thought he was having trouble with transitions from his classroom to the resource room and back - also true - but at that moment it could not have been more obvious if a cartoon balloon reading 'sensory overload' had floated above his head.

In his mainstream classroom, there were three groups working during that 'group time' - quietly, and he did focus and participate again. The IEP team had suggested he had reached a 'plateau' but when he was taken out of the distracting room, he had a 'learning spurt.'

His teacher was delighted, and so was he. I did not mention that I had been thinking he had reached a 'plateau', too. (((blush)))

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Is Diversity Like A New Box of Crayons?
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art5144.asp