I've been doing a ton of research for an article on stress relief and listened to this funny video on Emotions by Eckhart Tolle author of The Power of Now, New Earth, and other books.

He made a killer point about how so many people are conditioned not to express bad emotions. They think it's wrong or bad or that they'll get out of control but expressing your emotions no matter what they are is normal. What's not normal is walking around like a Pollyana all the time. That's freaky weird (just my opinion).

The trick to expressing negative emotions like anger, despair, or sadness is to do it the right way. The E.T. video shows you how.

Do you cry, scream or hit stuff ever? Maybe you should consider it.

So true. Emotions are to be felt. It's all in how we express them. I personally don't hit things, but I have had moments when alone that a good scream, did wonders. It was such an unexpected release :-). Now, screaming at others is not the key, but go outside, by yourself, and scream as loud as you can.... See how good it feels.

My therapist recommends buying cheap plates at goodwill so you can have something to smash. It's a good release. He also recommends breaking things on a plastic sheet or having a broom and dustbin ready for stress-free cleanup.

Yes, I recommend the plastic sheet, just to protect flooring and swiffers aid in collecting splinter particles.

Even w/out a therapist recommendations, at one point I had 4 dishes, each with a name on it.

The Gov., society, My ex-husband and in-laws. After I smashed them, my ex-husband, then came in and screamed, "ARE YOU CRAZY?????"

It was orgasmic. I said, "Not anymore..." I was good for 6 months!!!

Elleise, I love that. I like how you had names on them. Brilliant.

Destruction and creation are closely linked in some religions. Different ends of the continuum, both powerful and oddly similar.

Either can be used correctly or wrongly, if you think about it. It's not like one is good and the other is bad. I think it's important to keep in mind that as with a gun, it's what you do with it that matters.

This will be a good exercise for me. I want to offer another point of view in a supportive way. I agree that these ideas are great! Screaming is far better than trying to swallow pain or emotions.

My thought is that this is a long continuum. Yes definitely if you are at the point of internal insane fury then it is far better to let it out somehow on an inanimate object vs trying to keep it inside. I agree with that wholeheartedly.

I would offer in addition to that thought that long term learning to hit / break things as a way to habitually release stress could sometimes cause trouble. That once you get over that hurdle that "stress should not be kept in" that it is worth it to keep working along that path towards finding better and better ways to manage it that do not involve having to have something nearby to break or hurt.

Lisa, I know you and i have discussed this before and we never reached d�tente on it.

When I made my list of poor and better coping mechanisms (because you and Jeanne had told me breaking things was bad) I put it on my *poor* coping list.

My therapist liked my list but suggested that breaking things was actually extremely therapeutic, as long as it's within one's control. In that case, nothing you value is being harmed, whether thing, self or other.

So I moved it to my *better* coping list. And I will say the two times I tried it really helped tremendously. It adjusted my mental state almost instantly.

Is it the best method of coping? That I would have to think about further. I don't think it's different than going for a run, taking tae kwon do, or sword fighting to release emotion. Destructive energy feels good, when harnessed properly.

Building a sand castle is fun. Kicking it to smithereens is also fun.

This is something that I always found to be a sore point with me in Star Wars. Even as a child, I was hoping the solution to the trilogy was going to be finding ways to incorporate the dark and light sides - realizing they both had their value. I was surprised they did not go there at all. It would have been more Jungian.

Dear Jilly - definitely I agree that it is a far better option than many other options! Shades of grey

For me, I would never engage in sword class if I was upset or emotional. The chuck norris book I just reviewed explicitly talked about that. He said to never engage in that type of activity if you were in emotional turmoil. Another human is involved. You should have a clear calm mind.

To me running is quite different and I would gladly run or walk to help work through an emotion - those are suggestions that would work great for me! Thanks!

Don't forget kicking the sand castles. Making a thing of ephemeral beauty and then destroying it cathartically is one of the spiritual underpinnings of Navajo sand art.

I will continue to ponder this.

I think i see where you are saying that making a habit of breaking things and yelling could lead to choosing those behaviors more readily for milder coping situations? The slippery slope theory?

LOL, "not anymore" that is funny!

Did he also tell you that you actually have to acknowledge why you're doing the breaking. That you have to be fully aware of it and almost watch is like a observer so you actually release it. Otherwise you're just building up more steam for the next time.

It's not like one is good and the other is bad

I think it's important to keep in mind that as with a gun, it's what you do with it that matters.

I often cry. I also scream and hit things when I am at my lowest (+ when i am furious). I even started hitting myself a few years ago and I am happy to say that I haven't done it in a while (had the urge to do it but did not).