It's been one month and two days since I delivered my tiny little boy :( I've done soo good through all of this but I wonder, how in the world do you survive daily when you get pregnant again? This was my first pregnancy, and everything was perfect! No morning sickness..the belly was showing, heard the heartbeat at 2 different appts and all was seeming sooo fine. 2 weeks after my 2nd appointment, I had one little brown spot...that's all, and I called my midwife and she said, oh you're fine, that's normal, swing by and let's hear that heartbeat so you feel better...there was none. She scheduled me for a sono the next day but while she was checking me, she asked...Do you feel pregnant? And it was at that moment that I realized, my boobs did not hurt and I figured it was over. The next day at the sono it was sooo sad. The MOMENT I saw my baby on the screen and everything was like a still frame photo, I just started crying...I knew instantly that he waas gone. For those who have lost a baby after hearing the heartbeat ...how do you do it on round 2. If I get pregnanat again, everyday single day for 9 months I wil be wonderinf if my baby has died :(

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, and honestly I am dealing with a lot of the same issues. Primarily the fear of it happening again. It has been hard for me to have faith through it all but at the same time it is one of the only ways I have been able to get through it.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I was not as far along, but I am going through a similar situation. At my 11 week appointment there was no heart beat. That was two weeks ago tomorrow, and I am still carrying the body. Everything was fine before. I felt side swipped. I have been pondering the same question. I want my ignorant bliss back!! There is nothing anyone can "say" to elliviate that fear, but I have a really amazing mentor who gave me some words of wisdom that motivates me to have joy even in the midst of fear next time. The bottom line is, you can't control the situation. (This is the absolute hardest part for me to accept). You can't control the future. You can only control the attitude you take regarding each day and each moment. Think back to when you first found out you were pregnant. I image you were filled with joy. Even now, no one can take that joy that you experienced away. We wish that the joy would have lasted longer, but it is what it is. You will always have that joy that you had the first 17 weeks. That is yours forever. You will have that joy again. It seems easier to stay disconnected and not get too attached. That is perfectly natural. That is self preservation, but worrying is not going to will the baby to live. You will not "jinx" yourself by being excited. You can't control the future, but I hope that we are both strong enough to embrass the joy when we have it again. Ignorance is bliss. I am going to try to assume that everything is great and baby is safe, health and cozy snuggling up to me.

I too lost a baby at 17 weeks. She was my 4th pregnancy. I had givin birth to 3 healthy boys before her. Her pregnancy showed no signs of problems, that is untill my 17 weeks appointment and no heart beat was found. I am now 19 weeks pregnant with my 5th pregnancy. I am scared everyday. Some days are worse than others. I am a "what if" worrier. My doctor has allowed me to come in weekly though to hear heart beat which is reassuring. YOu could look into renting or purchasing a dopplar to check the heartbeat at home. Then you can check it as often as you need. Good luck.