I don't even pretend to understand the male-female divide, but I do know this: there are certain things that women do that men will not only never do, but can't even comprehend � like going to the bathroom en masse, like complimenting the way each other's [censored] looks in a certain pair of jeans and like driving two hours one way and two hours back to go shopping.

Yeah, that's right. Shopping.

"You drove to Santa Cruz to shop?" Sean asked me with that incredulous tone of voice and raised eyebrow that can only lead to more uncomfortable questioning that I won't be able to justify with any basis in reality.

But I'm so hip to that. "Yes, and worse yet," I said, thinking I'd beat him to his own game with self-deprecating honesty, "we went all the way down there to shop at one store."

"One store?"

I tried to fight the feeling that he was Dr. Phil trying to get me to acknowledge that something was inherently wrong with my way of thinking and being. So I got a little cocky. "Yep. The Annieglass seconds store. And then we did lunch. Notice I said did lunch, not had lunch. There's a difference."

"Whatever."

He says that a lot, I've noticed.

OK, men are from Mars, women are from Venus and ... I'm OK with that. I don't want men to be on my planet all the time � just visit and then go � and I certainly don't want to be My Favorite Martian. I like that we're different. It makes for lots of interesting conversations and situations (not to mention those other delights). In fact, if men and women were alike, I'm not so sure my friends and I would have much to talk about except our kids. As joyous and complicated as those conversations can be, men-women talk has a sexual edge, and when you get right down to it, who doesn�t love talking about that, right?

I'm not a big shopper. In fact, I hate malls, and some plain depress me� not unlike how I feel when I'm in a South Lake Tahoe or Reno casino. But the Santa Cruz trip wasn't really about the shopping. It was about being together, sharing, experiencing the wonderful connection known as sisterhood.

Guys do that, too � golf, fishing and sporting events are the obvious male-bonding experiences. But if you pay attention, you can get glimpses into the male mind that are much more subtle, more intimate.

I realized that recently when, after a great sushi dinner, Sean said, "I want some ice cream. Let's go to Baskin-Robbins."

"Ice cream? It's freezing out! No one eats ice cream in winter except kids!"

"I do. Come on."

"OK," I said, trying to sound dispassionate despite the visions of Red No. 2, diglycerides and BGH-tainted cream that clouded my head. But, if that's what the man wants, so be it. "I'll treat," I said.

He knew just what he wanted: Two scoops of Quarterback Crunch in a waffle cone.

"That's mumble dollar 90," the cashier said.
"$1.90?"
"No, $4.90."

"4.90???!!!!" I thought to myself as I handed over my money. Sean was munching away � he was so happy, like a kid � when I looked around the store. At the corner table were kids, all boys, happily munching away, too.

"You do realize that the only other people eating ice cream here are teenage boys," I said to Sean.

"And your point is ...?"

There is no point, just as there's no point to driving four hours to buy discounted slightly defective glassware. Sometimes, we shouldn�t question. We should accept.

What do you want to convey?

That men and women are different, and instead of trying to have go deep to "understand," just accept the differences.

Well why didn't you say so - ?!