I am in desperate need of advice and help. I have a friend who has pretty severe substance abuse and alcohol problems, both her and her husband. They also have 6 kids. Let's put it this way, things aren't right over there. I mean, you can imagine 8 people and a dog in a little apartment, meanwhile mommy and daddy hate each other and fight all the time, struggle with employment, and barely eek by. What I have witnessed is clearly child neglect, but not necessarily abuse. Since reporting this to the authorities is simply not an option, I am looking for things that I can do to help fix this family and protect their children. The latest, most pressing issue, is the bug situation. For whatever reason, sanitation and hyigene are just not high on these people's priority list. That being the case, I have watched as the bug problem has grown increasingly worse over the last few months. When I say "bugs", I counted 5 species of insects one day, two of which were cockroaches and head lice. They've since gotten rid of the lice, but the roaches are worse than ever. My concern is that under no circumstances should cockroaches be crawling on these children's bodies while they are sleeping. Since I have no way of knowing if they are, as I don't stay there, the only way I will be able to find out is to ask the oldest boy (13) if he has experienced this, or if he knows if his siblings have either. I feel bad for asking, because he'll be embarrassed, ashamed, and might even lie about it to protect his parents. So I guess my questions are: Should I ask him? Am I right in pursuing this, and not just ignoring this issue--bugs crawling on sleeping children? I will also add that had I not previously bought these children beds to sleep in, they would still be sleeping on the floor and furniture.

People in general resist change, until it's needed or wanted. I also feel that most people are decent folks, they just go astray. Somehow these folks must realize how their actions are affecting their children especially since they don't have any regards for themselves or each other. I'd say take your friend and children for an outing. Something they'd all enjoy together. If they have very small children maybe leave the very young ones with a trusted adult. Before you go make a deal with your friend that she shouldn't get intoxicated the day before or the day of, so she'll have a good time as well. The thought here is to show how much fun it is to be with her children w/o being high or hungover. Doing this a couple times a month (or more) may give her a boost mentally so she can help fend off her addiction. Maybe an intervention with her would help as well. Good luck