Hi, are there any replies?

CityGirl -

It's very unfortunate that those girls read your journal!

As for what to do about privacy, I don't have any great ideas beyond locking them up. If you don't want anyone to read your journals even after your death, maybe you could ask to be buried with them? It seems like that is more likely to keep people from reading them than asking for them to be destroyed.

Julie

Citygirl,

I wrote a post on my journaling web site that you might want to check out:

(for anti-spam reasons, new members are restricted from posting URLS)

I can definitely understand that past traumas can have a long term effect on how you live your present lives. We see that all the time with people dealing with cheating spouses for example.

Create a will that dictates who will execute your will. Then have as a statement in it that he will burn your diaries. That makes it fully legal and right there in black and white. You know it will happen.

I know you don't want to use anything online or computer-related, but you could still check out livejournal. There are tons of forums/communities, and pretty much any interest you have or question you want to ask, you can find a group for.

Hi Citygirl,

I'm so sorry to hear that those mean girls invaded your privacy. Keep in mind that you were not wrong for writing down your thoughts. THEY were wrong.

Have you considered learning short hand or coming up with some kind of code? I saw a movie about two rival magicians and that's what they did to protect their secrets, they wrote their journals in code. That would ensure that if someone were to read your journal, they'd have no idea what you were writing about.

Citygirl,
I truly understand. I love journaling, but had stopped a while back. The process of journaling itself is very theraputic the abilty to write on paper and let the words flow where they may - much better then on a computer - the problem is someone invading my privacy and reading my inner most thoughts that they don't have a right to.

I have been keeping my journal on the computer for over 10 years now. I am fortunate enough not to have to worry about privacy because my husband is so not the type to read my journals(Yeah, I did test him, many years ago; it would have been a deal-breaker for sure!).

My mother, a journaler herself, taught me the very best hiding place for things like journals, and money too: a big old Kotex box, shoved ever so casually in the back of your closet. NO guy'll go near it! This only works for men, however.

Wow, that's a tough one. A few years ago my husband and I were going through a really difficult time. I wrote out how unhappy I was and that I was contemplating divorce. Then I left my journal on the bed (i guess). He told me a couple of months later (we were fighting) that he'd read my journal and he knew I hated him. I looked at him - at first shocked - then I burst out laughing. Served him right LOL.

Now I make sure my journal is tucked away in a drawer.

I went back and reread some of my old journals - and was surprised at the complaining and negativity. So I threw them out. Honestly, after I'm gone, I want those journals to reflect who I was... not some gripey complainy housewife! It taught me to focus more on moving forward, releasing and forgiving. I still post my honest thoughts, but rather than just venting, I try to be more proactive. It makes me feel better.

As far as I'm concerned, a person who would read another person's journal without their permission, ESPECIALLY one who'd throw what they read in the journaler's face later, is not a nice person. He or she is a nasty, icky individual.

I've probably told this story before... if I have, forgive the repetition. Anyway, many years ago, I was engaged to marry a fellow who was totally into control. He was not religious at all, but he was one of those people I like to call One-Verse Charlies, who latch on with the tenacity of a pit bull to a single Bible verse, ideation, or passage (totally ignoring all the rest of it) and live by it, and try to force everyone else to live by it in a totally ham-fisted way! His verse? The one(s) about Wives submitting to husbands as unto the Lord.

One day he told me in a very matter of fact, this-is-just-the-way-it-is manner that once we were married everything of mine would be his, so that meant he was going to be entitled to read all my journals old and new. I don't think so, was my reply. He kept pushing and became more and more adamant, and the more I refused (finally declaring that I would burn the *%$# things rather than have him read them!) the madder he got, finally playing the secrets card and accusing me of "having something to hide."

I did not have a thing to hide, I truthfully replied; it was just the principle of privacy and respect for a person as an individual. I would never read HIS journals if he had any. He didn't get it; he went off on a tear about how a wife was "not a person, not an individual, but property of her husband and was to submit to him as unto the Lord. "As unto THE LORD!" he declared, voice rising.

He hated it when I rolled my eyes like a recalcitrant teenager!

Well, that was the first of many red flags in THAT relationship! Once again my journal had been a helpful friend to me, albeit indirectly this time. How glad I am that I did not marry that guy!